Never grow up

Never let your childhood slip away.


by Maggie Knox, Editor-in-Chief

“The reality of adulthood is creeping close,” I say to myself, disregarding the fact that the papercuts on my fingers are covered in globs of Neosporin and glow-in-the-dark Spongebob bandaids.

For those of you unaware, I am a senior. I recently turned 18 and thus have been bombarded with the perils of being, you know, not a kid anymore. Just the other day, I stayed home sick from school and called my dad to pick me up and take me to the doctor. He replied and said that I could just go by myself.

Oh, yeah, I forgot I could do that.

So, I have decided to help you all out. Most of you girls are under 18, but before you know it, you’ll be registering to vote and wasting money on scratch tickets like me. Time sure flies when you’re having fun.

Here are five ways to slow down your aging, allowing you to be a kid for just a little while longer. Because, believe me, you’ll want to be a kid for as long as possible:

  • Buy kids’ meals at various eating establishments. Not only will you save a lot of money, but you’ll also probably be happier with your decision. These days, kids’ meals come with healthy options like yogurt, milk and fruit, so you won’t feel bad choosing those apple slices over a 3-pound burrito.
  • Don’t drive yourself around all the time. This is especially important to remember in these cold, icy winter months. In fact, I had a conversation with the senior class president that completely solidified this point for me. She told me that her mother drove her to school once solely because she wanted to sleep in the car. Never change, Kat, never change.
  • Watch dumb TV shows (But not that dumb…). Even though your nine-year-old little sister watches Dog with a Blog, you shouldn’t. Stick to the shows you grew up on, like Hannah Montana, Drake and Josh, Zoey 101, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, or my favorite, Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide.  Gotta catch that weasel.
  • Avoid current events. Don’t fool yourself: you don’t know what the heck is going on in the presidential race. Last month you heard someone say “caucus,” but, let’s be honest, even if it is a legitimate word, you don’t care. You cannot care. By avoiding all things going on in society, you can also avoid Donald Trump, whom even us kids know as “that mean guy with weird hair.” Yeah, you and me, too, kid.
  • Don’t act older than you are. Don’t take your childhood for granted. Because before you know it, you’ll be like me and the rest of the senior class: choosing colleges, turning 18, going to the doctor by ourselves and being all wrapped up in this crazy world of responsibility.

Embrace your childhood. Don’t let it go to waste. And remember that your time is limited to a mere 18 years. Take it from an adult.