If a clown tries me…

With clowns running amok in the streets of urban areas, we all must have a plan of action ready.


by Natalie Telep, Staff Writer

Fall has arrived again, a time for leaf-raking, pumpkin carving, trick-or-treating, and sinister, grotesque clowns following innocent children down dark alleyways. Not really, but that’s what some warp-minded individuals seem to think.

I don’t know what it is about clowns that’s so purely horrifying. Is it their exaggerated, malformed facial features? Is it the menacing, toothy grin? Or is it the gigantic, bulbous nose? Personally, it’s the exaggeratedly happy features that strike terror into my heart.

Now, I live in a very safe neighborhood with Neighborhood Watch signs on every street corner. The scariest thing on my street is the feral cat that occasionally leaves dismembered animal parts on our porches. However, I can’t help but think that it’s entirely possible for a deranged, mentally unhinged individual to wander into my neighborhood and hunt me down.

I completely understand why these clown appearances have struck the internet by storm. However, I don’t understand why people are continuing to dress up. At this point, there’s no way of knowing which clowns just want to stand still and scare children, and which clowns will chase people down dark alleyways with a chainsaw.

I read in the news that a man in New Jersey was shot point-blank in the head after trying to scare a man in a car. If that’s not evidence enough that this clown fad should stop, I don’t know what is.
When it first started, it was mildly amusing. I mean, who doesn’t want to see videos of grown men scared silly by mere clowns? But then it became more than just innocent scare pranks. In the past several months, reports of clowns being seriously injured have gradually become more regular on news outlets. Last year searching the word “clown” on Google Images would have yielded colorful, light-hearted pictures. Now, images of killer clowns with ghastly grimaces and devilish sneers show up.

Not only has this clown business been detrimental to people’s sense of security, it has been hazardous, both for clowns and for victims. Hopefully, the clowns will fade away after this Halloween season and never come back. As if our 2016 Presidential Election isn’t scary enough.