Dear Rebecca Black lovers,

Do yourself and everyone around you a favor and stop. Stop listening to Rebecca Black on Groove Shark, watching her video on YouTube, or mimicking her disastrous song. ‘Friday’ does not have approximately 88,249,669 views on YouTube because people think it is cool. People are watching it in disbelief. They are re-watching continuously to mock the artist and double check that they understood the lyrics correctly.

‘Friday’ is like a plague. Once one person starts singing ‘Friday,’ everyone is singing it. The biggest problem is, everyone only knows “It’s Friday, Friday, everyone get down on Friday.” The halls on Friday are full of people singing “Friday” off pitch(if that’s possible considering it is already ear piercing) . Soon enough, those eight words are stuck on replay in my head. I now dread Fridays and the play list that comes with it. To all the Rebecca Black want to be’s, bring me head phones or leave me and my school alone.

For all of you on viewers who have been lucky of enough not to have heard the infamous song, keep it that way. Allow me to fill you in on all you need to know about ‘Friday.’ Rebecca begins by informing us that if today is Friday, ‘yesterday was Thursday, Thursday,’ ‘tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes after…wards.’ Now, thanks to her, there is no longer a need for a calendar. This intellect is followed by a play by play of Rebecca’s before-school routine. I must admit, I finally understand how to get ready in the morning. I wake up at 7 a.m., get ‘fresh,’ walk downstairs, get a bowl THEN get cereal, and head to the bus stop. Life is much easier.

I am a bit annoyed with the inconsistency, so maybe you Rebecca Black fans can help me out. In one verse she says she is headed to the bus stop, only to get picked up by her friend’s convertible. So is she riding the bus or riding in her friends hot wheels? Also, what state allows 13 year-olds to drive? Although I disagree with her final decision as to where she should sit, I applaud the deep thought she put in to the dilemma. If it were me choosing whether to kick it in the front seat or sit in the back, I would definitely sit by the hot, Justin Beiber-esque boy. I mean, why not? It will get me ready for Friday.

Whether you know it or not, by making Rebecca so popular, you are destroying her. You are quickly making her the most hated person in the world. She is never going to be known anything other than the girl that sings about Friday. No colleges will be yearning to have her attend their institution. No boys will be lined up to take Rebecca Black to prom. Her mother-in-law will be embarrassed to welcome such a talent into her family. Her kids and grand kids will be relieved to carry the patriarchal name.

Go back to the Jonas Brothers,

Kirsty McGhie