by MaryMichael Hough

“You are Molly’s twin.” “Could you be more like Lily?” “This is Kathleen’s little sister.” Actually, please allow me to introduce myself. My name is MaryMichael Hough, and although I am my own person, I live in a very large shadow.

By the time I entered STA, all three of my sisters had managed to make Hough, my own last name, a very large, and at times unbearable, load to bear. I dread the moment a teacher or coach calls roll for the first time, realizes who I am related to, and begins to make their assumptions on what my talents are and what expectations they will hold for me. I wish I could say once I get home everything changes and my parents understand I’m not my sisters, but it seems as though they don’t. They acknowledge I despise the constant comparisons but can’t seem to leave my siblings out of any conversation about me. I know they really want to believe their expectations are based on my abilities, but they just aren’t.

The worst part about the expectations and pressures given to younger siblings based on their older siblings is the toll it can take on your confidence. You can let the comparisons get to you and begin to think you must become your sibling in order to please others, or you can choose to use these expectations as motivation to be your own person.

I’m not saying I wish I were an only child because I really don’t know what I would do or who I would be without my sisters. Although it took awhile, I have chosen to ignore the goals set by others based on my sisters’ abilities, and instead create my own. I recognize and respect their achievements, but have chosen to base my personal expectations on my own abilities.

Parents and teachers, don’t let the last name fool you because everyone should have the opportunity to create their own reputation. Don’t make assumptions based on their siblings’ abilities, but on their own abilities. Allow space for growth and change your methods based on them as an individual.

Younger siblings, you can either choose to live in the shadows of your name or shatter any stereotypes and embrace your individuality. Don’t let the similarities between you and your siblings define who you are, but instead use your differences to create your own identity because you have a right to make a name for yourself.