by Sam Spence
The Super Clique – that’s what she called them. A handful of the most popular girls from each grade school, put them together at one lunch table, and that’s what you get. There’s no way in and no way out.
I was assured that at STA everyone was “sisters;” older sisters, younger sisters, but nonetheless equal. However, I have found that even in the setting of an all-girls Catholic private school, there are still those groups of girls that stand out as the “elites” in the crowd. I have witnessed this mostly amongst my peers since, as freshmen, we are new to the system and most of us are clinging to our grade school posse for fear that we will be alone if we don’t.
But somehow the current seems to pull girls towards one group in particular, and that would be the Super Clique. This is the group we should want to be friends with. Because being in this group means you’re what? Socially accepted? More mature? Well dressed? Have friends that are boys? What exactly makes a girl worthy of this group? What is the definition of popular in terms of a high school girl vs. the Merriam Webster Dictionary?
I asked a handful of freshmen, some that I knew and some that I wasn’t familiar with, to define popularity in their own words.
“A group of people who stand out.”
“Everyone knows who you are, even if you’re known for all the wrong reasons.”
“Girls that have a lot of followers on Instagram.”
“Someone who is more outgoing and very sociable.”
“Someone who has a high social ranking.”
“A bunch of girls that know a lot of guys.”
“When someone or a group of people is more well-known or liked than other groups or people.”
“People who have a lot of friends.”
“Someone who is well liked for their personality.”
There was one definition that really stood out to me. One girl said, “Popularity to me is just a cover. Some people get really wrapped up in it and others don’t care. It doesn’t mean anything; it’s really just a title to boost people with low self-esteem. Nobody really needs popularity. The ones that want it the most are the ones that aren’t happy with their lives.”
Unlike the Merriam Webster Dictionary, this definition is honest and sincere. It’s also unfortunately true. Popularity promotes exclusion, but as long as you are in the Super Clique, that doesn’t matter. Because in the end that’s why girls crave popularity; popularity guarantees inclusion, and inclusion gives girls a sense of security.
Inclusion? Security? Acceptance? How can any girl feel included, how can she possibly feel secure or accepted if she is constantly feeling pressure to show off for the Super Clique? And if they aren’t satisfied with her performance, does she lose her spot in the group? Girls are so desperate for approval they will even sacrifice a lifelong friend for a spot on top of the social ladder.
One anonymous freshman told me, “There is this girl I’ve been best friends with since kindergarten. High school has changed her for the worse. She only talks to me when they aren’t around, and when they are around I am apparently the first joke that comes to her mind.”
This “best friend” is obviously insecure if she needs to crack a mean joke just to get the Super Clique’s attention. I mean let’s be honest, everyone would rather judge than be judged. Her attempt to put her friend down was just to raise her own self-esteem.
So how can we end this trend of Super Cliques, socially elite groups? To be honest, I don’t have a clear answer. I think we can start by giving them less power. It’s unnerving to see how much influence these girls have over everyone else. What would happen if they lost the power to control the crowd? “I have a dream” (quite similar to Martin Luther King Jr.’s) that one day when I walk into the cafeteria I will see that tables are not grouped based on popularity, but by STA sisterhood.
Unknown • Nov 8, 2013 at 2:40 pm
While excellently written, you did the same thing in this article that you accused the ‘mean girls’ of doing, judging others. I feel like this was more of a jab at your best friend rather than the exposition of the super clique. During freshman year it is hard learning who you belong with and where you fit in but it will get better throughout your high school experience.
unknown • Nov 3, 2013 at 9:24 pm
This article is very well written, but i think that it is both right and wrong. The way that girls from the bigger schools always end up being friends with each other before high school is right. These girls usually end up being popular because the amount of people that they know. I have been in all types of friend groups and have friends in almost every friend group so I guess you can call me a drifter. Yes, I have a main group of friends but I also have friends that aren’t in my group. The girls that go to STA in my grade are all very welcome and kind.The Super clique of my grade they don’t just hangout with themselves they hangout with my group and many others. The way that you are describing these girls is wrong though. These girls are some of the nicest people that I know. Also, the way that apparently you can’t get into that group and you can’t get out, but I was in that group my freshman year and didn’t agree with some things that they were doing so I stopped hanging out with that group of people and started hanging out with girls that i agreed with their decisions. I think that this article is definitely outing a certain group in your grade. I know this because I have talked to some of them and they are fine with the article but they don’t think you have the whole story.
Unknown • Oct 29, 2013 at 9:16 pm
Not only is this phenomenally written, but its completely true. I came from a fairly small grade school and I definitely noticed that the girls from bigger grade schools came together. Nothing wrong with that though. But honestly, I as a not-that-popular person probably judge people just as much as they do or anyone for that matter.The good news is is that the farther you get into high school, the looser these groups become and we kind of all start to blend together as well as find specific friends groups.
Unknown • Oct 3, 2013 at 9:00 pm
Sam,
This is really is well written, as all the girls have stated. However, if you are claiming that this “Super Clique” judges others to bring their self-esteem up, then what is this article to you? You are essentially doing the exact same thing you told others not to do, by judging the “Super Clique.” While good journalism is important, it is also important to not contradict yourself. Through this article, you became what you are trying to prevent.
Unknown • Oct 3, 2013 at 12:16 am
Sam-
While this paper is wonderfully written, I disagree with some points. I believe that there is no clique in our freshman class. Like the last “unknown” person said, if you ask to sit with someone they are not going to say no. Just because someone has a friend group, doesn’t mean that they are a clique. Unfortunately for the “super clique”, they are now being stereotyped as mean and cold to others. I just hope you start seeing the sisterhood at STA. While there are “mean girls” here, or like any other school you will ever see, a very large portion of our class is nice. You will find a mean girl at every table that you sit at, but that does not mean a certain table is more popular or rude because of the mix of girls that sit there.
Karol • Oct 2, 2013 at 10:09 pm
I disagree with the above comment. I had nowhere to sit the first week or two of school. I knew a couple of the girls at the “Super Clique” table and tried to sit down. That action was immediately met with whispers and disapproving looks. I was then told that the spot was being saved. What is this, fifth grade? Anyway, there are cliques at St. Teresa’s and the sooner we come to terms with that, the better.
Mary • Oct 2, 2013 at 8:05 pm
I respect your willingness to write and publish something so controversial (especially as a freshman) it is what makes a great journalist! But as you are a freshman only three months into STA, these harsh judgments may be a little premature. You address how you felt deceived into thinking STA would not have these groups, and you then in your very last sentence wished for a future in which the lunch tables are based on the sisterhood. Well, as a senior I can assure you at your age I had the same feelings, as did many of my friends. Everyone struggles with wanting to be accepted, that is why cliques in general (not just the “super clique) form. It is part of the high school transition no matter where you go. What is different about STA is, with time, we all become friends, we all become sisters. But it takes just that, time. Becoming sisters does not happen right away, especially in the first three months. It is a process. Our school does an extraordinary job of facilitating this process and teaching us to look beyond someone’s image. But, you have to be willing to put aside preconceived notions (meaning where they sit at lunch, among other things) to really get to know a person. Once you can do that, you will notice the idea of the “super clique” or exclusive groups kind of dissolves. You learn what really matters in a person.To answer your question of “how can we end this trend?” it is not by eliminating their so called “power”. You end this trend of “super cliques” (or just exclusive cliques in general) by getting involved in different ways. These opportunities allow for you to get to know people. By getting to know people you make connections. It is these connections that ultimately makes us sisters. It is what our STA sisterhood is founded upon. Not popularity, not cliques, not someone’s image, but real genuine connections. Please just keep an open mind. Remember, even the girls who you deem as in the “super clique” may have some of the same insecurities, or even the same interests as you. These next four years your grade will go through so much together. You may not feel like sisters now, but there will come a time when that dream of yours will come true.
Unknown • Oct 1, 2013 at 12:47 pm
It is a great paper! But I don’t think that it is a clique! If anything they are girls that have found friends with common interests, like everybody does as a freshman. In high school they tell you to branch out an make new friends, that is what the “Supper Clique” is doing. Calling those girls a clique just because they sit with there friends at lunch, then you should call everybody that sis with there friends at lunch a clique. I don’t think there are any cliques at sta, because if you went up to everybody at lunch and asked to sit with them they would say yes!
Sabrina • Oct 1, 2013 at 11:12 am
Sam,
This is absolutely so well written and well described not just for our high school but to say for any high school. The sad part about it, is that you can go to any school and find that group who will be the one and only “exclusive” but then you will eventually find that group of friends maybe one or two that will put a smile on your face everyday in the halls! My father always told me a handful of friends is more than a bucketful.