by Kathleen Hough
HALLO from the other side. This is Kathleen Hough, reporting live from kAwLege. Congrats, seniors, on reaching the end of the fairytale life of what I like to call St. Teresa’s Academy. I’m here to give you all a reality check—the inside scoop on your new life amongst a sea of the most complicated creatures known to man…BOYZ.
Granted, I go to a university that could be classified as St. Teresa’s Academy + more Catholicism + Rockhurst-like males – Kansas City, MO + many talented and gifted intellectuals who don’t understand my humor, so my college experience has been completely and totally opposite from my life at STA. Luckily for me—and most likely for you all as well—most of my new college pals are products of single-sex, Catholic high schools and have a lot in common with my crazy beautiful life of weirdness. In fact, my fellow all-girls school friends and I have compiled some differences of going to school with da’ boiz:
1. Looking nice for class.
You’re expected to do it. Every day. No matter what. Even if you have class at 7 a.m. or got 3 hours of sleep last night. Do I decide to participate? No WAY. If one more girl in wedges and a dress tells me I look “so comfy” or “really tired,” I might have a heart attack. However, there are some pluses to not getting ready for class. The first being that on the days when I have looked presentable, people around campus say: “Oh my God, you look really pretty today,” and I’m like: “Oh thanks, I have no idea what I did differently…” I’ll also add that finals week has become quite enjoyable for me, the sole reason being that everyone looks like I do on a regular basis…total crap.
2. Going to school with 8-year-old little boys again.
Except this time, you finally have their same sense of humor. In fact, because you most likely hit puberty before some of them did, by the time you reach college it seems as if they finally matured while you have just…immatured. This time around, you’ll be making the farting/pooping jokes and they’ll be the ones who aren’t laughing. You’ll also be going to school with little boys again in the fact that you will find yourself always in the library while they are running around outside, watching TV, or playing Fifa. You’ll wonder when they ever get homework done, and the truth is, they don’t. But also remember that boys don’t talk about everything they have to do 24/7 like girls do, mostly because they know you don’t care. You’ll never hear a college boy say: “Oh my God, I have soooo much to do tonight.” Thank God.
3. It is no longer socially acceptable to discuss farting/pooping/periods/lack of personal hygiene in public.
Surprisingly, boys don’t think it’s as hilarious as we do when we haven’t showered for over four days and/or shaved our pits for a month. And when you complain about how your period is kicking your butt, the only thing close to sympathy you’ll be getting is: “NOT AT THE DINNER TABLE, PLEASE.” Don’t bother asking in public if anyone has a tampon. One of them will freak out like a little girl. I actually had one of my guy friends try to convince me that girls do not poop. Imagine his reaction when I had to physically prove that yes, we indeed do.
4. Bye, bye girl power.
Coming from STA, you’re on top of the world—you are on the number one sports team, leader of every club, star student, and class clown. Once you arrive on campus, your world is invaded with testosterone. Essentially, you now go to school with all Rockhurst boys—boys that have lived the chauvinist way for the last four years. Whether it’s the presence of boys in class or the pressure to prove yourself, you’ll think more before you raise your hand rather than blurt out whatever is on your mind. When someone throws around “gay” and “retarded” and you call him out for it like you did at STA, he probably either won’t listen or try to shoot you down in return. Outside of STA, your classmates will see you more as a China doll than a strong, independent gal. That means you can’t get away with murder like you used to. This time, you’ll watch the boys run wild and free doing whatever they want while you have to be a little more careful about following the rules. Definitely annoying, but you’ll find there are other advantages to being a freshman girl that the boys don’t enjoy.
5. You can run. But you can’t hide.
Even at a school where boys and girls live in separate dorms, I cannot go three seconds without seeing someone from the opposite sex. College is a whole different world. Not only are you going to school with boys, but you are living, eating, breathing with these people. Say goodbye to four lunches a day and “Are you gonna eat that?”s, because I guarantee your girlfriends will become a lot more conscious about what they are putting on their trays in the dining hall when boys are sitting next to them. Me? I’ve never realized this until one of them brought it up now, so I guess my advice would be Lucky Charms and Fro-Yo.
6. Bring on the drama.
In my four years at STA I have never witnessed more drama than I have in my first two semesters in college, and every single bit of it can be attributed to the boys here. The worst part is that they don’t even fuel drama between girls—well, they do, but that’s not the point. I couldn’t tell you how many times I have had to mediate fights between boys. Bottom line: Boys are more emotional than you think they are. In fact, they are the biggest seventh grade girls I have ever met and they freak out about everything. Be gentle. And be prepared.
7. Don’t take boys too seriously.
Just because three months have passed and you don’t know the boys you are hanging out with at your new school doesn’t mean that they aren’t the same Rockhurst boys you hung around with in high school. That means that 88% of the things they say are totally ridiculous and mean absolutely nothing. So please, don’t get upset out if a boy gives you a hard time or pokes fun at you once or twice. It’s all in the freshman way of fun.
8. Leave STA behind.
The first time I attempted to explain STA and everything that goes with it to one of my new college friends, she acted like it was NeverLand, saying: “Wowwww, I want to go there!” Even then she hadn’t fully understood half of what STA was/is. I guess my point is that you will never find another place like STA, and you will never find anyone that understands STA the way you do. You won’t have this community or sisterhood that you’ve had over your last four years here. People won’t understand that you prank called Mr. Fast in your Tuesday free every week or asked Ms. Dolan for a tampon. They’ll think it’s…weird. And as sad and disheartening as this is for me, I want to tell you now, so that you don’t go to college with the expectation that it’s going to be just like STA. Because it’s not. Go to college with no expectations, thinking of it as its own place—its own chapter in your life. Because the truth is, you’ll never be able to replace STA—it will remain a special place in your heart forever.
9. STAY WEIRD.
Even though you’re leaving STA behind, don’t leave behind the weirdo girl that was made here. If you don’t want to dress up as the sexy bumblebee for Halloween, then dress up as the bag of trash you’ve been dreaming about all year. If you aren’t feeling the mirror picz/selfie seshes in the bathroom, then don’t participate. I guarantee you will find the same hilarious, intelligent, down to earth, weirdo girls you formed genuine friendships with at STA at your college, no matter what your future school is. And don’t let boys be an obstacle. I’ve met so many boys at this place that tell me they wish the girls at their high schools were like the STA girls they’ve met in college (shout out to Molly Kenney/Emily Strickland). You were born this way baby; you’re ready for the real world, and they will love you.
SparkNotes (because I know every STA student loves those): College is great, boys are great, so don’t be scared. Remember your home, remember your sisters, but don’t worry about finding new friends at your future school—boys and girls alike. If they’re the perfect friends for you, then I am living proof that they will love you despite your weirdness. Hey, I met my first guy friends while sacrificing Little Cletus in a graveyard last Halloween. They definitely were afraid of me, but they still call me every weekend to hang out so HAY, I must have done something right. Plus, it won’t be long before they have Googled you and found all the incriminating photos, videos, and blog entries DartNewsOnline has to share.
In the end, everyone loves an STA girl and wants you to share a little bit of the STA flavor with them. So get out there, be proud, and do your colleges the STA way—as happy as can beeeeeee, cause you’re a girl from the Academy.
