By Shaeffer Smith

As I sat in the Starbucks at the Mall of America, I saw a plump man with cherry cheeks and a big white beard walking across my view. He was wearing red shorts, sandals, and a red and white tropical shirt even though it was below freezing outside. It was at this moment that it hit me- Santa is real, and I just saw him walking in Minneapolis.

If I have ever told you that I don’t believe in Santa Claus, I lied. Apparently, believing in the fatty that sneaks in to my house and leaves me presents is socially unacceptable at my age. I guess I believed my mom for, like, 2 days when she said Santa isn’t real, but it just doesn’t add up. I have some unanswered questions.

1. How do you explain the bites out of the carrots I leave for Santa’s reindeer every year?

Not sure how many people actually think about how the reindeer feel about flying around the world in one night, but it sure doesn’t seem like an easy job! They’re hungry, and it’s a known fact that reindeer love carrots. So when I see the bites out of the carrots and people try to tell me that Santa doesn’t exist, I start to wonder who bites them then…Is it my parents? No, they don’t have reindeer teeth, and I’m positive those are reindeer bites. The only possible explanation is Santa.

2. If it’s not Santa, then what are the sounds on the roof I hear every Christmas Eve?

You’ve got to cut Santa some slack- roofs are tough to walk on, and he can’t keep quiet all the time. If you try to tell me that it’s my imagination that is making up those sounds, oh lordy. I’ll be the first to say I have a wild imagination, but I’m not THAT imaginative. It’s OBVIOUSLY Santa and his reindeer.

3. Who displays my gifts in such a professional manner?

My parents, you say? Well, as much as I love my parents, every year it looks like a job done by an experienced professional, such as Santa. That’s not even my parents’ handwriting!

4. What about the Santa tracker? Is that real?

Okay, on this one, I’m still a little unclear on how they actually TRACK him, but hey, government secrets are government secrets. Plus, I don’t think everyone would lie to us kids! That’s just cruel.

This is my theory on how it all works: All year long, Santa watches us in his magic snow globe to see what we want and/or need for Christmas. Then, when it’s Christmas Eve for the the other side of the world, he gathers up his reindeer (and probably a handful of cookies) and heads out in to the elements of winter to deliver the presents for the good girls and boys. It’s really a tough to say how long Santa actually spends in each house, but he’s pretty quick, but he has a big job to do. So I’m guessing around 5-7 minutes at each house. If you’re wondering how he manages that with so many houses in the world, you have to keep in mind he uses his magic to stop time (that’s why you’re always hungry Christmas morning) and there are many houses without children inside. Once he sets up the gifts, feeds his reindeer, and heads back up the chimney, he sets off to the rest of the homes, then back to his.

Really, it’s a solid theory, and I stand by it and believe it with all my heart. I believe in Santa and I hope that you do, too, because Santa doesn’t give presents to non-believers.