by Hannah Wolf

The first time I discovered what MTV was, I was so scared my parents would get mad at me for watching it, that I tried to hide any evidence.

After a hard day as a sixth grader, I would come home to catch the newest episode of “Next” or “Date My Mom.” Quality shows for a girl my age to watch. But this wasn’t as easy as it seems. I would first have to go to the Disney Channel and then to MTV, that way I could hit the “previous channel” button on a moments notice to keep my mom from discovering my horrible TV habits. I would keep the volume down low, not just so my parents wouldn’t hear the scripted insults on “Parental Control,” but so I could hear my dad’s footsteps as he walked through the kitchen into the TV room. I had to be extra careful when turning off the TV. I couldn’t leave it on MTV, because that’s what would automatically come on the next time someone turned on the TV. I would change the channel to ABC or ESPN right before I left the room, just so there was nothing to be suspicious about.

My parents never flat out told me I couldn’t, but I knew if they heard the language and saw the rating, I would lose TV privileges for a while. So I avoided getting caught at all times. And for the most part, I got away with watching MTV. However, there was one time I fell asleep with the TV on, and my mom definitely caught me watching an episode of “Laguna Beach.” My mom forgot about it by the time I woke up, and that one slid by. I remember another time when she walked in on an episode of “The Real World: Key West,” and was appalled by their offensive language and continuous fighting. She told me I shouldn’t be watching shows like that, so I had to be on even higher alert when watching TV.

I’ll admit, I was addicted to MTV. I had the schedule of shows memorized and couldn’t turn on the TV without seeing what show was on channel 24. I quickly passed up the decent and appropriate shows on Disney that defined my pre-pre-teen age, like “Lizzy Maguire,” for the trashy shows on MTV.

Looking back, those MTV shows were a huge waste of time. I thought watching reality TV would make me feel more grown up. For one thing, “Next” is the farthest thing from reality, as is the case with many shows on MTV. Also, I didn’t really feel like more an adult after a thirty minute episode of “Room Raiders.” I felt like a kid that was embarrassed to be exposed to these things at a young age; the whole reason I tried to hide MTV from my parents in the first place. I was trying to grow up too fast.

I’m still a little embarrassed today when my Dad walks in the room during Mike and Ronnie’s fight on “Jersey Shore.” Not that my parents care anymore what I watch on TV. I just feel guilty finding entertainment in trashy TV, and I know I’m wasting my time anytime I turn on MTV (even today). I’m even more ashamed that I was doing the same thing 7 years ago, the first time I watched MTV.