For the past week, my Grandma has been staying with us for my older brother’s graduation. One average Sunday afternoon I sat down in my living room with my 68 year old relative and turned on the television to enjoy a little down time before finals. Clicking through the channels we start casually chatting about school, work, ect. The next channel I land on opens up to a scene of what looks like two 12 year old kids getting physical next to a table that has pills and white powder on it. My head instantly freaks out and I start flailing around, trying to change the channel as fast as I can.

Needless to say, I was embarrassed. My Grandma, who was around for when curfew was 6:30 and it was unacceptable to have your poodle skirt any higher than your ankles, was just introduced to the world of MTV and the sex- crazed mania of the typical teenager’s media. I was actually surprised she didn’t have a stroke right on the sofa. But we got through it in awkward silence and proceeded to watch a Dr. Phil re-run.

Frankly, I’m tired of having to apologize for the things on TV. And I’m terrified that this is what my generation will be remembered for. The 60’s had the Beetles and hippies. The 70’s had disco. The 80’s introduced hard rock, heavy metal and Madonna. You get the gist. But what about the adolescence of 2000? What are we going to be labeled as? Well, so far it’s looking like we get Skins, Twilight, and teen pregnancy.

I honestly don’t understand the fascination with under age, fictional plots in entertainment. (If it can be called entertainment any more) Let’s do a quick run-down of the ever popular ABC Family’s show, Secret Life of the American Teenager, which is about to return with it’s 4th season.

Season 1; The main character, Amy, gets pregnant with a guy named Ricky, but is dating another guy named Ben. All of the sites I’m looking at simply state something along the lines of, “Amy, Ben, Ricky, and their friends and family explore what it’s like to live for someone else.” Or anything just as hokey.

Season 2; Amy’s mother learns she’s pregnant.

Season 3; Adrian, who I’m supposing is some other minor character, is also pregnant

Season 4; (And this is just my guess) Someone else gets pregnant!

But really, out of the hundreds among thousands among millions of things to make a television show about, why does it have to be so predictable and monotonous? Yes, teens are tempted to have sex. Yes, pregnancy comes from sex, Yes, having a baby would be awful as a teenager. Yes, there might be some cute moments with a baby where ABC will likely play strong violin music as proud parents look down at a sleeping kiddo. But seriously, I can’t think of anything else that would be interesting.

So please, please, please. Stop the shows. I don’t think I can take anymore 40 second commercials for another show that has rising and falling music, and one line of dialogue that causes a series of shocked, perfect faces to flash across my screen.

What I’ve started to ask myself is this, “Maybe everyone is just bored and running out of things to do?” So here is a list of things you can do instead:

– Build a tree house

– “Borrow” an ugly ornament from your neighbor’s yard – see how long it takes them to notice

– Build a home for you gerbil or small pet

– Dress up on a Saturday and go to Open Houses and act like you have the money to buy the place.

– Get all the grandchildren to perform a skit at a family gathering

– Have a back yard talent show

– Host a yard sale

– build an obstacle course in the front yard

– Make a slip and slide in your back yard

– Make an entertaining phone answering-machine message

– Stop phone solicitors from calling you by acting like a total wingnut when they call

– Put strings of lights on your houseplants.

– Set up the tent in the backyard like it is a campground in the wilderness

– Sing in the shower with all your might

– Design a fitness program or workout routine

-Tie ribbons to anything that doesn’t move.

– Use window markers and draw rainbows on your windows.

-Wash the Dog

-Play wacky golf – use strange clubs like a shovel or a baseball bat and strange golf balls too

– Make a mini golf game in the backyard

– Play hide and seek

– Mess with the family pet – put a dress on them or a fancy hat and take a picture with your camera phone

– Compile a list of Fun Road Trip Games to have ready for your next road trip

– Board games by a toasty fire

– Get an astrology book and read out loud horoscopes for each family members zodiac sign

– Get a gazpacho recipe or some other kind of strange dish and make it.

– Build a mini weather station at home

– Build a time capsule