We’ve all been that girl in the middle of class when everything is so painfully silent that you can hear the clock tick. You’re holding it in, thinking to yourself, “Oh no, please don’t. Please don’t,” when it slips out with a bang. Your face goes red as the entire class, with dropped jaws, turns around to stare at you. Even the teacher raises an eyebrow in disapproval. Your friends around you have tears coming from their eyes, dying of laughter. You try to play it off with a little chuckle, but deep down you are mortified.
Why is it though that passing gas, no matter what the situation may be, time after time, is so socially unacceptable that it is funny? Why can’t farting just go unnoticed? So maybe you are thinking to yourself are you kidding? Why would farting ever be seen as acceptable?
Farting is disgusting because it smells miserable and sounds even worse! It is seriously unpleasant due to this and more often than not is a horrible distraction in both classrooms and workplaces. It is a weird sound followed by a killer scent!
Just think about it though, everyone farts every day at some point or another. It’s only natural! When you eat, not only are you swallowing food but you are also swallowing gases that travel through your digestive system while breaking down the food. Other gases are added when your food travels through the large intestine. These gases have to escape somehow, and thus we have farting. The combination of these gases is also what makes our farts smell bad.
So, my question is this: how long ago was it and who said that farting was unacceptable, thus deeming it hilarious? Was it Beethoven while composing a symphony? The pope when he was breaking bread? While I have researched this through books and the Internet, sadly I have found no answers.
It leads me though to my next question of what if farting was socially respectable? What if it was just as normal as a human sneeze or a cough? Would people say, “God bless you!” when you take out a small crowd of people at the school dance with your stench? Or would there be no acknowledgment or flinch of the nostrils at all?
Just imagine the world that we would live in. It would be so carefree with people ripping them at weddings before the groom kisses his bride, teachers would let out an “SBD” and the students would offer their blessings. The stench of it all in addition to the strange noise would go unnoticed. It would be a carefree world with no one around to raise a “stink” about the bomb you just accidentally let out in your free.
My point is, the next time someone toots in your presence instead of giving them the “stink” eye try just not even acknowledging it. Better yet, try not to laugh at it. It will definitely be a challenge for me to hold in my overwhelming chortles. But maybe if we all just start seeing flatuating as socially acceptable, there won’t have to be anymore of those awkward, hot faced moments for any of us ever again just because we swallowed more air with our lunch than usual.
