by Shaeffer Smith

No matter your status, whether you were boyfriend-girlfriend for 2 years or just hanging out for a month, breaking up SUCKS (if you weren’t in an actual relationship, it’s called “having a fallout”)!

All of the time you spent thinking about that person, talking to them, hanging out with them, it’s all just free time now- time you can use to dwell on the past… OOOORRRR time you can use to keep yourself together, girl.

Ya, sure, we can say, “His loss, I’m a great girl, obviously we weren’t meant to be,” but it’s easier said than done. Yes, it is definitely his loss, but the reality of not being together anymore is really depressing. So here are my do’s and don’ts for surviving a breakup or fallout:

DO Spend quality time with the girls. Boys come and go, but your girls are always there for you. You can talk it through, vent, say everything that ever annoyed you about him… You can also go out and have a great time with them! Spending time with the girls reminds you that a boy may not like you, but your friends always will! They know all the weird and crazy things about you and are still there 24/7.

DO Turn your phone off! Our phones are our lives, these days, so we have all of our social networking and communication right in the palms of our hands. You can be tempted to text him, or call him, or stalk him on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Foursquare. Don’t let yourself be reminded!

DON’T Hook up with someone just because you can! You may forget that you have game after being in a relationship (or whatever you were), but now you can freely flirt with boys! But don’t hook up with someone right away! You may hurt the guy’s feelings because that’s sort of making him the rebound. But also, you may think things are over, but they might not actually be! Chilling out for a little while will reduce the risk of anyone getting hurt!

DO Cut him off! Unfollow him on all social media sites. Unsubscribe to his updates on Facebook. Maybe even delete his number. If you find yourself wanting to talk to him again and again even after he hurt you, or he broke up with you, or you just stopped randomly talking, don’t give yourself the opportunity to bring those feelings back up.

DON’T Subtweet or sub-update your Facebook status! Don’t be that girl. His friends are friends with you, they probably know, and they’ll see!

DO Focus on yourself! Boys should not define you, so take this time to find out who you are- what you want, what you don’t, what you like, your dreams, your priorities. Being single is the best time to give yourself a little, well-deserved TLC!

Finally, DON’T Sweat it! Fall outs are sad and hurtful and annoying and tough, but there are other boys. It’s not the end of the world! It will hurt for a while, but you’ll survive! You may not find somebody right away, but you will eventually. You have to get all of the wrong ones out of the way before you find the right one!

Unfortunately, it happens to us all. :/ Everyday’s a strug.