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by Katie Parkinson

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“Okay, here we go,” social studies teacher Mike Egner said to the three seniors sitting in his room during activity. “A box without hinges, key or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid. What is it?”

“Corn!” senior Mattie Davis answered.

“No, a banana,” senior Keara Miller guessed.

Egner shook his head.

“So, is it not really a box?” senior Nikki Rodriguez asked.

“Well, what is a box?” Egner responded. “Corn would make sense though. I guess I’d have to accept that, but the answer is an egg.”

“So, there is no box involved?” Rodriguez questioned. “You should change box to container.”

“That’s not flowery enough,” Egner said. “I love this riddle, but you know, whenever I tell it, people say, ‘That’s not a box!’”

“But that’s not a box!” senior Rodriguez replied.

This kind of fun and open discussion is why Egner puts up a new quote on his whiteboard each day.

“I kind of like it when students come in and they have something to look forward to, to start out their class,” Egner said.

According to Egner, he started this ritual so long ago he cannot remember exactly when it began.

“I may have gotten started when I used to watch this TV show called ‘ Millennium,’” Egner explained. “It was kind of a dark, mystery show and at the beginning of every episode there was a quote [that] had something to do with the episode.”

To decide what to write on the board, Egner refers to a manila folder filled with a collection of puns, riddles, trivia and other quotes.

Sometimes he will put up thoughtful quotes such as:

Man is the cruelest animal – Friedrich Nietzsche

Other times he puts up humorous aphorisms like:

Fish and visitors stink in three days – Benjamin Franklin

Or trivia:

In the deck of playing cards, each of the four kings represents a king of history. The king of spades is King David, the king of hearts is Charlemagne, the king of clubs is Alexander the Great and the king of Diamonds is Julius Caesar.

Quotes from movies:

What we’ve got here is failure to communicate – Cool Hand Luke; 1967

And quotes by literary figures:

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by all his friends – Oscar Wilde

But the quotes he uses are all “supposed to be quotes that are revealing about the people that made the quotes, or funny, or thoughtful or just kind of frivolous,” according to Egner.

When an author is unknown, Egner attributes that quote to “Zeke Ferguson,” a character he and his friends made up in high school.

“We put him on club rosters, and we put him as a member of sports teams, and he was on student council,” Egner said with a laugh. “Sometimes when somebody had a PA announcement, they would include him or ask him to come to the office. He also ran for homecoming king. Fortunately he didn’t win.”

Junior Madison Fitzgerald, who is in Egner’s advisory, said that she thinks his quotes are very fun.

“It’s just something that kids when they come in, will always look up there and say, ‘What do we have up there today?’” Egner said.

According to Fitzgerald, the quotes each have different aspects and are often good conversation starters.

“We discuss the philosophical implications of the quotes, or how it applies to our world today, or the past, or whatever,” Fitzgerald said.

According to sophomore Eden Kreighbaum, who is in Accelerated World History, she would “definitely notice” if the quotes were no longer put up.

“I think that [quotes] are unique to Egner,” Fitzgerald said. “He’s the only teacher who does them, and it’s just like, Mr. Egner: bobble heads and quotes on the board.”[/wpcol_2third] [wpcol_1third_end id=”” class=”” style=””] Other Egner Quotes

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it – Mark Twain

Every man before he dies shall see the devil – Old English proverb

Thou dost scare me with dreams and terrify me with visions – The Book of Job 7:14-21

He said to me in a dreadful voice that I had indeed escaped his clutches, but he would capture me still – St. Teresa of Avila

Someday we’ll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car – Evan Davis

Egner-isms: personal quotes by Mr. Egner

Whenever I read medical books, I hope I don’t die of a misprint.

What are you girls doing? I hope it’s educational.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like my sister’s shoe.

The main difference between day and night is light.

Sometimes I’m kidding, and sometimes I’m not. It’s not important that you know when. It’s just important that I know when- as any good serial killer would say.

When you stop wondering, you die. Remember that. When you stop wondering about things, you die. [/wpcol_1third_end]