Photo by MCT Campus

By Shaeffer Smith

With the release of her newest album, “Red,” I have decided to dedicate this week’s blog to the goddess of boy advice: THE T-Swizzle. Taylor Swift is amazing. She has a song for every single boy problem or celebration there can possibly be. From being broken up with to starting anew, there’s a song for that, and it’s even better that it’s written by a beautiful, charismatic, funny, talented, awesome girl (can you say major celeb crush?).

I have compiled the best Taylor Swift songs for every situation we’ll face in our lives. Thank me via Moodle message.

If you’re feeling single and ready to mingle…listen to “22.”

If someone just stole your boyfriend OR your boyfriend is talking to a girl “just as friends”…listen to “Better Than Revenge.”

If your love is forbidden…listen to “Love Story.”

If your boyfriend is about to date or marry a girl that is completely wrong for him…listen to “Speak Now.”

If you break up, and he goes off to college…listen to “Tim McGraw.”

If you’re dating a Debbie Downer and he is annoyingly dominant….listen to “Tell Me Why.”

If you aren’t a priority in his life…listen to “The Last Time” (and then break up with him. He should be begging to hang out with someone cool like you).

If you’re in love with your best friend…listen to “You Belong With Me.”

If a guy broke your heart and is trying to get you back…listen to “White Horse” and/or “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.”

If your boyfriend just cheated on you…listen to “You’re Not Sorry” and “Should’ve Said No.”

If you’re going through a break-up and need to feel more confident…listen to “Haunted,” “Picture to Burn,” “Red,” “Forever and Always” and “The Story of Us.”

If you’re going through a break-up and want to wallow in your sorrows…listen to “All Too Well,” “Back to December,” “Dear John,” “If This Was a Movie,” “Breathe” and “Last Kiss.”

If you are in love with someone who doesn’t know you exist…listen to “Teardrops on My Guitar.”

If you keep comparing your current love interest with your last (or a specifically memorable one)…listen to “The Way I Loved You.”

If your best friend is saying “I TOLD YOU HE WAS BAD NEWS”…listen to “I Knew You Were Trouble.”

If things are going great and you just want to dance and sing and be in love…listen to “Fearless,” “Jump Then Fall,” “Our Song,” “Mine,” “Sparks Fly” and “Ours.”

If you just had a really great date…listen to “Today Was a Fairytale.”

If you’re obsessing over a guy…listen to “Superman,” “Hey Stephen,” “Crazier” and “Untouchable.”

If you just met an awesome guy and it was infatuation at first sight (shout out to Christian Lifestyles holla!)…listen to “Enchanted” and “State of Grace.”

If you’re looking back on a guy who broke your heart and you realize that he’s awful, mean, and just plain cold…listen to “Cold As You.”

If you meet a guy who can MAYBE HOPEFULLY QUITE POSSIBLY make you forget your last heartbreak and trust boys again…listen to “Begin Again.”

Thankfully, Taylor Swift came out with a new album, so I can stop writing my own love story and just continue to live vicariously through her. Is it bad that I actually stopped listening to John Mayer after hearing “Dear John”? Is it bad that I look at Jake Gyllenhaal and think “I would never date him, he’s such a jerk”? Whatever, that’s what friends do.

Dearest Taylor Alison Swift, thank you for writing a song to help us get through every boy situation we come across, good or bad. Thanks for letting us know we’re not the only ones that obsess over guys constantly, feel crazyhappyexcitedandhavebutterflies when we meet a cute guy, and we’re not the only ones that “go sit on the floor wearing [their] clothes.” You are truly a big sister to us all.