by Jordan Berardi

The Quirk: Lyric Application

Hey, ya’ll. “Hello, how are you? Like your shoes, love your hair” (Hey Driver, Lucky Boys Confusion). It’s a horrible habit. Everything I say automatically turns into a song I sing in my head, or out loud if the world is lucky… “I know that I am, I am, the luckiest” (The Luckiest, Ben Folds). So this blog is going to give you a glimpse into my brain and how it operates. And it’s not only when I say something, it’s when anyone says something to me or around me.

I’m convinced 97% of my brain capacity is song lyrics. It’s actually horrible. Instead of being able to add all 26 letters of the alphabet into a single algebraic expression, I sit there and sing songs in my head. Sounds cute and childish, like aw, that’s cute. No. It’s detrimental. Instead, I sit there attempting problems 71 – 109 odd with a pencil and draw raindrops (because that’s the only thing I am able to draw), and singing “cause I wanna feel the thunder, I wanna scream. Let the rain fall down, I’m coming clean” (Coming Clean, Hillary Duff).

For this post I am going to take you through a twenty minute span of Jordan’s Brain Waves. With each song quoted, it is a true indication that song entered my head. I kid you not. All of the following will be a true account of my Sunday… “Sunday morning rain is falling” (Sunday Morning, Maroon 5) night.

It’s 11:05 pm. I’m sitting on my bed staring at my wall… “don’t ya wish that you could be a fly on the wall” (Fly on the Wall, Miley Cyrus) that is home… “cause I’m gonna make this place your home” (Home, Phillip Phillips) to over one hundred pictures of this summer…”Yeah, caught up in a Southern summer, a barefoot, blue jean night” (Barefoot, Blue Jean Night, Jake Owen) and all I can think about is the complete and utter frigidity of the looming winter. Gosh, I hate winter…”Baby, it’s cold outside” (It’s Cold Outside, Various Artists). Honestly, who likes winter? The snow gets old. The boots…”these boots are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do” (These Boots are Made for Walking, Jessica Simpson) get dirty. The only thing that’s half-way decent about winter is Christmas…”I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need. And I don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree” (All I Want for Christmas is You, Mariah Carey).

I don’t want to think about Christmas. All I can think about is Eric Church is going to be breathing the same air as me in less than a week. I think I might cry…”I’m not cryin’ cause I feel so sorry for you, I’m cryin’ for me” (Cryin’ For Me, Toby Keith). And if you don’t know… “you don’t know me, you don’t know me at all” (You Don’t Know Me, Ben Folds & Regina Spektor) who Eric Church is then I don’t truly believe you have experienced true happiness… “I’m on the pursuit of happiness and I know, everything that shines ain’t always gonna be gold” (Pursuit of Happiness, Kid Cudi).

I’m just worried about parking… “Mama put the car in park out there in front of the school, then she kissed her head, and said I was just like you” (You’re Gonna Miss This, Trace Adkins) you know? The area surrounding the Sprint Center is a complete mess… “she’s a beautiful mess, yeah the kind you love to love” (Storm Warning, Hunter Hayes). There’s people honking, crying, screaming, jumping, flashing, running, skipping, and pointing. It’s all so stressful. So I have come up with a tactic: stay strong… “I’m not giving you an hour or a second or another minute longer. I’m busy getting stronger” (A Little Bit Stronger, Sara Evans). I may be little… “a little bitty dog and a little bitty car. Well it’s alright to be little bitty” (Little Bitty, Alan Jackson) but I am not going to give in. I will refuse to let the fifty-year-old cowboy take my parking spot. I will refuse to cry while trying to pull out in post-concert traffic. I refuse to go the wrong way down a one way street. But most of all, I will remain focused on my driving… “shut up and drive” (Shut up and Drive, Rihanna) when the occasional dream boy steps into view.

Even though that doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of my song lyric application into everyday conversation, it gives you a slight idea. Just love me.

Her Quirk: Show Tunes

I’d like to introduce my first featured student: Maggie Hutchison. I received a 735 (this is a completely accurate number, I checked) word Moodle message from Maggie about showtunes. I am pretty sure I read it four times before I found the words to respond. I know nothing about showtunes. Zero. Maggie’s message was so detailed, further questions weren’t required. “If I can make any show tune reference, I consider my day successful. I got two Wizard of Oz references from father’s homily in mass today.” I don’t know how to successfully do this quirk justice. I guess if you want to get a first hand account of this, go to chemistry class with Maggie. “Yesterday in chemistry and the free directly following it, I had several random outbursts of lines like ‘the beans, the beans, the special beans!’ and ‘bang, crash, the lightning flashed and well that’s another story, nevermind, anyway!’ All credited to listening to the entire Into the Woods soundtrack the night before.” She’s a winner. Seriously, Maggie I love you.