By Siobhan Miller

She’s in high school now. All grown up. So why does she not have the same privileges that she had as a child? More maturity, more freedom, right? Yet when freshmanLizzy Keller, along with other girls in her class, entered high school, her parents took away the privilege of spending the night at a friends house on the weekend.

Some parents worry their children are more likely to use drugs or alcohol when spending the night at a friends house, so they create a curfew to prevent inappropriate behavior. Unsupervised and alone, who knows what could be going wrong?  Keller’s dad, Mr. Pat Keller argues that the reason he enforces this rule is to protect his children from unsafe situations.

“I definitely don’t think a parent should make decisions for their kid,” Keller said. “A parent who [makes decisions for their kid] is doing more harm than good. But we as parents need to make sure that we don’t put our kids in situations that require them to make decisions from a whole host of bad options.”

But those kids that are making bad decisions, that’s them. Not her. She’s a good kid. She knows what she should and shouldn’t do. Keller admits that not all teenagers are making bad decisions constantly, yet the negative pressures surrounding them can affect their behavior. Everyone else is doing it. The high will wear off by morning. It’s not a big deal.

“It’s hard for teenagers to make good decisions because there are lots of pressures on [teenagers] such as sex, drugs and alcohol particularly in high school,” Pat Keller said.

Dad, you wouldn’t even know! Sleepovers aren’t like that at all! Keller’s daughter, Lizzy, disagrees with her father’s point of view on what actually occurs during sleepovers.

“I think parents enforce this rule because [parents] think that [teenagers] will do something stupid or something bad when we really just talk,” Keller said.

During a sleepover freshman Taran Smith, along with other freshmen, attended on April 14, the girls grabbed snacks and magazines as they collapsed onto the bed. They swapped pictures, videos texts and stories; giggling and shrieking over the latest high school drama. There wasn’t any drinking. No one felt pressured. It was just fun! So what makes parents believe teens are doing something inappropriate?

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Mr. Keller argues that sleepovers tend to be dangerous are because they are frequently poorly monitored by the parents. Without constant supervision over their children, parents questions are left unanswered. Who’s there? What are they doing? Is someone bringing something in to the house that is illegal or inappropriate?

“Sleepovers feel like the slippery slope once things start to go bad. If they do, there nothing to grab on to to save the fall,” Keller said.

Freshman Taran Smith, whose parents allow her to participate in sleepovers, argues that parents should bring their child’s past behaviors into context when deciding whether or not to let them sleep over.

“ If the child has gotten into trouble in the past for doing things they are not supposed to be doing, then I think the [no sleepovers in high school rule] is good,” Smith said. “But for kids who never get in trouble always do the right thing, they should be able to have sleepovers. I think my parents let me have sleepovers because of the girls I hang out with. My friend group is a bunch of well behaved, well mannered and all around good girls.”

Mrs. Therese Smith, mother of freshman Taran Smith, recognizes the trust and mutual opinions shared within her daughter’s friend group. They support her and care for her. I know these girls are making good decisions and their encouraging her to do the same. So why shouldn’t they be able to have sleepovers?

“Right now I feel like my child and her friends are showing support and responsibility for one another and I feel they don’t want to jeopardize the good things they have going for them,” Smith said.

Keller is not saying that banning sleepovers is a matter of trust. It’s the parents personal decision on whether or not they are comfortable with their child left unsupervised. Although Mr. Keller does not permit sleepovers in high school, he still allows his children to go out. While wanting his children to be social as well as safe, Keller sets a curfew for them.

“I remember my dad saying, ‘Nothing good happens after midnight; it’s either illegal or immortal,’ and from my own life experiences, I have come to understand that he was probably right,” Keller said.