Junior Clare Magers leaves her parents in Iowa to come to Kansas City and attend STA

Seemingly embarrassed, junior Clare Magers leaves the room as her mother starts to cry. Thinking about leaving Clare 2-and-a-half hours away from her home brings Ms. Rose Magers to tears. Maybe Clare is used to her mom’s quick emotions and they don’t phase her. Or maybe she is so used to being away from her mother that these few hours with her don’t seem special. But then Clare returns with a paper towel for Rose to wipe her sad eyes, and it is clear that she takes to heart her mother’s struggles.

Before her freshman year, Clare moved from her parents and their home in Iowa to Kansas City so that she could attend STA. She has lived with her older brother and without her parents for over 2 years, and the distance has taken an emotional toll on the family.

“I try really hard not to let her see that I’m sad, because I am,” Rose said. “It’s hard. But you know what, it’s for her. It’s her life. It’s a sacrifice for [my husband and I] because these are the formative years for you girls, and I feel bad that we’re not here for her every day. When she comes home from school, she comes home by herself. When you talk on the phone, you just…you can’t hug her.”

Rose and Dr. Mike Magers moved from Gladstone to Kellerton, Iowa seven years ago with their daughter Clare soon after Mike finished medical school, a significant career change from previously being a small business owner. According to Rose, the family had bargained with God, and He sent them to rural Iowa. Clare struggled with her new classmates and small-town life, and the public high school did not have a college-bound rate high enough to show promise for Clare’s future. So, the Magers decided she would try for something more challenging.

“The first thing was to get Clare accepted into STA and we figured everything else would fall into place,” Rose said. “And it did.”

Instead of selling Mike’s mother’s house in Red Bridge as they had originally planned after she passed away, the Magers thought the house would be Clare’s home away from home. They asked their 28-year-old son George if he would leave his “trendy Westport neighborhood” and live as his sister’s guardian. George agreed and said that besides getting used to Clare’s messy habits, moving in with his sister has not been much of an adjustment.

“I’m just a little more conscious of what I do,” George said. “It’s kind of just like having another roommate.”

According to Clare, George has not taken on a parenting role and the two have pretty separate schedules and lives.

Although Clare keeps some things from her brother, she tells her parents almost everything. Between regular weekend visits to Iowa, she talks to them on the phone at least twice a day. She keeps them updated on what’s going on with school, and they help her over the phone if she’s upset.

According to Clare, she does not feel tempted to break the rules she has had to set for herself. Clare does not have a curfew, but she said she knows when it is time to go home.

“I know I would be taking advantage of my parents’ trust,” Clare said. “They don’t know what goes on. I could totally take advantage of that, but I don’t want to. I’d feel bad and they pay lots of money for me to come to school here, and I need to focus on that.”

According to Rose, she and Mike have no way of knowing when Clare breaks a rule, except for when she tells them. Clare said she usually tells her parents what she does wrong before there’s time to feel guilty about it. For example, Clare told her parents when she and a friend drove to Manhattan, Kan. on their own without permission. She didn’t get in trouble because she was honest with them.

Along with staying out of trouble, Clare has also had to become self-motivated to do her schoolwork, according to George. Clare said it wasn’t hard to grasp that responsibility because it was essential when living without parents to keep her on track. Rose said she is very proud of all of the work Clare does for school, but that she wishes Clare didn’t have so much to do.

“I’ve noticed that with her homework load, it seems like coming home is quite a diversion for her,” Rose said. “And when she comes home she wants to be babied and coddled. She just wants to sit down and be with [us].”

Clare said she would love to live with her parents, but that she could never move back to Iowa. Rose, a “city gal,” wants to move back to Kansas City to be with Clare and she often visits, but she will stay in Kellerton with her husband.

While Clare thinks living with her brother has helped her realize that growing up can be fun, she also knows she will be prepared for college because she has learned to live on her own.

“I feel like I had to grow up and take care of myself and become really independent,” Clare said. “I’m kind of jealous of other teenagers. You guys can go home and see your parents, and I don’t have that.”