By: Nikki Rodriguez
Winning an argument or getting someone to say yes is about more than being right. There are also ways to convince people that don’t include being obnoxious. Psychologists acknowledge many ways to influence someone’s answer without the use of actual reason. Here are some methods to Get An Easy Yes:
1. Be Silent – In the face of a refusal, being silent will make the other person feel the need to explain herself. Listening makes you more sympathetic, and she may change her mind.
2. Touch their arm – Studies have shown that people have a harder time saying no to a request if the person is touching them while making the request.
3. Mirror – Good friends often subconsciously mirror each other’s actions and body movement. Likewise, mirroring someone’s body language will give the feeling of being in agreement.
4. Align Yourself – If someone becomes angry or persists in disagreeing, move so you are facing the same way. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder so you are looking in the same direction shows people that you acknowledge their opinions and may calm them down.
5. Talk More Quietly – Increasing your voice level causes the other person to raise his or her voice, resulting in a yelling match. Inversely, speaking more quietly than your opponent will make you seem more wise and reasonable.
6. Use “Because.” – Harvard social psychologist Ellen Langer conducted an experiment testing “because” as a trigger to get people to say yes. Langer approached people waiting in line to use a copy machine and asked, “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine?” 60 percent of the time, people said yes.
Later on, she did the same thing, but said, “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make some copies?” 93 percent of people said yes when she used “because,” despite the fact she did not add anything new. People perceived “because” as being followed by a legitimate reason, even when it was not.
Have you had success with any of these? What other tips would you suggest?
