By Shaeffer Smith

You know that awkward moment when you’re driving out of the parking lot, annoyed by the traffic and honking, you’ve got stuff written all over your arms and a pencil in your hair, then you see a boy on campus? A boy! At first, you straighten up a little bit, and you’re like “Oh gosh, I hope I look good.” Then, it hits you- Why is there a boy at STA? THIS IS A GIRLS’ SCHOOL!

It’s no secret that adjusting to an all-girls school is hard, and personally, it was one of the hardest, most depressing things I’ve ever had to do. I love boys. I really love them. I honk at them when I’m driving. But once I got to being an “I-Bleed-Black-Gold-and-Never-Shave-Unless-I-Absolutely-Positively-Have-To” STA girl, I realized that I don’t need or want boys at school with me.

First of all, boys are annoying. They make jokes about “how a woman’s place is the kitchen”! Sorry boys, but I can barely make cereal for myself, let alone a sandwich for you. Boys also don’t take things seriously, and I’m pretty sure school is a serious thing. If boys were at STA, they would talk in class and get me all distracted. I get annoyed with even my best friends here because I spend so much time with them, I think spending too much time with boys will either give me a heart attack or drive me to the convent.

Secondly, yeah, every girl says “Oh I don’t like to get all dressed up for boys and do my make up blah blah blah”. Even if I went to school with boys, I wouldn’t do that- it’s a long process that isn’t worth putting myself through. Usually when I do my make up, it ends in tears, and that is totally less attractive than my make up-less face. But my mom would constantly remind me that my “future husband is watching” and that I should look “semi-decent” (and by that she means in pristine condition, if that’s even possible). If I went to school with boys, that would mean I have to wash my skirt almost everyday and give a little variety to my headbands. Do I want to do that? No.

Thirdly, I don’t know about you, but I think I’m pretty darn funny. But apparently boys don’t think so, and that’s why I love STA. People will laugh at my jokes! I don’t have to worry about if I sound dumb or anything because my sisters have my back! Same goes with participating in class. If I get the answer wrong, I’m not about to freak out and think “Oh my god, (insert cute boy’s name here) probably thinks that I am so dumb and will never want to hold my hand! OMG OMG *sad face*”.

Have you ever been so completely helpless during or after a test that you cry? I know I have. It’s like sitting there sniffling and just being so emotionally worked up that you just want to stand up and say “I AM GOING TO FAIL THIS TEST MISERABLY AND I AM UPSET ABOUT IT!” That is not the way I would like boys to see me. I’d rather be seen as the strong, smart, put-together woman that I am (most of the time). But hey, this school is FLOODED with estrogen- emotions run high! I have the opportunity to cry without boys seeing me. Considering the amount of stress I am constantly under, I like the privilege of crying, thank you very much.

Finally, being at an all girls school gives me the opportunity to shine. You know those boys that are good at EVERYTHING? Ya, I know those boys. Being at STA gives me the chance to have leadership positions that normally boys would take. Now, don’t even get me started on sports. Here at STA, it is all about girls striving in their athletics. In grade school, nobody EVER made announcements about the girls sports, and that ticked me off! I was quite the little athlete at Visitation but did I ever get recognized for that? No. Because the boys got all the glory.

STA is the best place on the planet. It is a wonderful place where people will laugh at my jokes, I have the right to cry whenever I want and can rock my “all-natural” look. Seeing (or sometimes smelling) boys on campus disrupts my entire world. As much as I love every member of the boy race (I have to say that, I don’t want to sound discriminative against the ugly ones), there is a place for boys, and that place is definitely not St. Teresa’s. So, ladies, do me a solid and keep your smelling-of-Axe boyfriends away from STA. There are plenty of other places they can go, and I’m really stressed this week.