BLACK DOG COFFEEHOUSE

12815 West 87th Street Parkway, Lenexa, KS

ENTERTAINMENT: D

COFFEE: B+

Most popular drink: Vanilla Sky (latte with caramel, white chocolate, and hazelnut flavoring)

ENVIRONMENT: A

Okay, I hate to be harsh. But when I saw Monthly Open Mic Night on Black Dog Coffeehouse’s event schedule, I wasn’t dreading driving all the way to Lenexa on a Friday night to attend. So I jumped in the car and ventured out to the foreign lands of Johnson County to find this Black Dog joint. Forty-five minutes, half a tank of gas and a less-happy-me later, I finally found the place…in a strip mall. I was tired of being in the car and was ready to sip on a cup of joe and listen to a bunch of idiots make fools out of themselves. So I walked up to the door and stepped inside. First instinct: nice place. The lights were dim, the walls were covered with art for sale, and the whole shop was very quiet and studious. But wait, quiet and studious? Open Mic Night started 20 minutes ago. I scanned my surroundings. No microphone. No talking. Nothing. Only the soft sound of the soothing Indie music over the speakers. Yep, that’s right. Open Mic Night? Total bust. So yes, Black Dog Coffeehouse, I give you a D for coffee shop entertainment. Why schedule something if it doesn’t even happen?

Eventually I got over the fact that I would not be entertained at this particular coffee shop and I had wasted my Friday night for nothing. I decided to give their coffee a shot. So I walked up to the counter and checked out the menu. This place is Foo’s Fabulous Frozen Custard, substitute coffee. The menu looked identical to something that I would be observing at Foo’s. Not only did each coffee drink have a funky and creative name, like Snickers, but it also featured combinations of different flavors, as Foo’s concretes do. After talking with the barista, I decided to order Dirty Blonde, for obvious reasons. This was a latte with white chocolate and hazelnut. The name excited me, but the coffee didn’t. I burned my tongue for nothing. It was nothing special. It basically tasted like black coffee with a little bit of hazelnut creamer–definitely not worth the $3.78 I paid for it. However, the coffee did start to grow on me after a while, and the caffeine overload definitely kicked in later as I couldn’t fall asleep. All in all, Black Dog was just okay. If I ever lived in Lenexa and needed a place to study, I would definitely consider it though. Not only did the bottomless cup seem interesting (pay $12 for free refills while you’re studying), but also I will give Black Dog props for having a very quiet and focused environment.

HOMER’S COFFEEHOUSE

7126 West 80th Street, Overland Park, KS

ENTERTAINMENT: B

COFFEE: A

Most popular drink: tie between Mexican Mocha (Spiced Chocolate) and Angel Ammaretto (latte with white chocolate and caramel flavoring)

ENVIRONMENT: C

After searching for a parking spot for over 10 minutes, parking in front of Shelter Insurance, and walking three blocks, I ventured into Homer’s Coffeehouse right off 80th and Metcalf. First instinct: I think I am inside McDonald’s. Not to be mean Homer, but you could do so much better. For a coffee shop so spacious and roomy, with such pretty artwork, one ugly couch isn’t going to cut it. After ordering a regular mocha “for here,” I took a seat and waited for the band to begin playing.

When I had first looked at Homer’s entertainment schedule, I thought Sky Blue sounded like an interesting band. I pictured a group of younger guys, playing guitars and singing songs similar to those of Ben Folds or even Coldplay. Boy, was I wrong. As I sat down in my polyester-covered, uncomfortable chair, I looked around for this band I had dreamed up. I finally focused on a group setting up speakers in the corner of the large, rectangular room on a raised platform. A blonde haired, middle-aged woman took the mic, an older guy with long, curly hair sat at the drums, and a third male picked up his guitar. Sky Blue, of course.

The minute my mocha was placed in front of me, and the band started to play “Joseph was a Dream Guy,” I realized something. Ladies and gentleman, Homer’s Coffee House is a Christian coffee house. Don’t go there expecting a rock show, because 90 percent of the bands that play there are Christian bands. Homer’s is affliated with the Christian Business Men’s Connection, and it was opened because the CBMCs in the Overland Park community wanted to have a place away from church with friends and music, but also wanted “the love of Christ to be evident.” Sky Blue is one of the many Christian bands that performs at Homer’s regularly. Sky Blue and I didn’t click.

Despite the fact that they were nothing that I expected, they were pretty good. If I had to pick, my favorite song would have been “7000 Miles,” with “What Would Jesus Drive?” in close second.

And, I almost forgot. Despite the fact that my mocha was served in a ceramic mug with bite marks and chips all over it, it was so good. It didn’t even burn my tongue! And it was really frothy and light. However, I felt like I got nothing for the four dollars it cost me. It was gone in basically 10 sips, and I began to regret my decision of choosing “for here” instead of “to go.”

On my way out, the barista stopped me and said I should come back to watch Oriole Post perform. I checked them out later when I got home, and they are actually really good. Their music is so soothing and timeless, and the vocals are amazing. I thought since they were going to perform at Homer’s in the near future, they should be included in Homer’s coffee house entertainment grade and bring up the bad grade I gave Sky Blue. So Homer’s gets a B in the entertainment department. Sorry, Homer, live with it.

WESTPORT COFFEEHOUSE

4010 Pennsylvania Kansas City, Mo

ENTERTAINMENT: A

COFFEE: A

ENVIRONMENT: B+

Most popular drink: Snickers (latte with caramel, hazelnut, and chocolate flavoring)

I can say with total confidence that Westport Coffee House is the place to be. Not only did I get curbside parking right outside the shop on a Friday night, have to pay the least amount of money for a coffee drink, and get a table to myself in a cafe with limited seating, but I also discovered an awesome band called Colton and Zara.

Colton and Zara belong on the Juno soundtrack. They have an alternative, acoustic style to their music that is really soothing with awesome vocals and harmonies. I absolutely loved the band and give them an A for their coffee house entertainment grade. I think I’m going to buy their album, Whinsical Dreams, off iTunes. My favorite song was definitely “Halls,” which is their most popular. It reminds me of that Ben Folds/Coldplay band I was expecting at Homer’s Coffee.

Not only did the band playing at Westport Coffee House rock, but the coffee was pretty good too. I ordered the house specialty, Snickers (popular coffee drink name in the Kansas City area, apparently). Not only was it the least expensive out of all the coffee places I went to, but it also had good flavor as well. It was light and didn’t taste that artificial for how much artificial flavoring it contained. Nice job on the coffee, Westport.

However, I will take some points for Westport’s overall coffee shop environment. To be honest, I felt like I was drinking coffee inside a sports bar. The tables, old carpeting, and even arcade games in the corner were not so appealing. However, it was clean, quiet, and perfect for watching a small band play on a Friday night, so I’ll let it slide and give you a B+.

All in all, I have to say ‘Job well done, Westport Coffee House.’ I think you might have offered the best entertainment out of all the coffee houses I observed. Keep up the good work!