If you ever have a lot of time on your hands and enjoy matching sweaters, stiff poses and family portraits, get to your nearest computer and go to awkwardfamilyphotos.com.

I think it’s fair to say that the success of this website relies on the fact that over the years, many families have gotten their photo taken (professionally and… not so professionally) at least once.

My family is no exception. When I think of my family’s portraits, none beat the one for the church directory. Curiously, I had to search for this photo and ended up finding it in my basement, of all places, hiding behind a box… So here’s the story:

Around ten or 11 years ago, my church was in the process of photographing all it’s members for a parish directory. My older sister, Kathleen, and I were still at that age where my mother liked to dress us in the same clothes, just different colors.

So there we are, my family of seven, posing behind professional cameras in our church basement. I suppose at the time I thought I had better things to do with my five year old self than take a picture for my church, so in protest I curled up my lip, resembling a chipmunk.

So here is my apology, ten years too late. I’m sorry Parents for ruining the picture. I’m sorry St. Elizabeth’s Church Directory initiative for making a mockery of your good intentions. I’m sorry photographer, whoever you were, for ruining what was probably you’re 500th family photo.

But in reality, there are many elements to the failure of this photo.

One being the fact that Kathleen and I are matching. I hate that.

Two, Maggie’s curled bowl cut. Sorry Mom, but we’ll never forgive you for that mushroom like hair style.

Three, Dad’s signature open mouth smile.

Four, Pat is practically bald.

I guess baby Charlie’s chubby cuteness makes up for all those negatives. So I advise you to just focus on his seersucker overalls and sausage-link arms. You’ll find that the photo improves significantly. You could almost call it cute. Almost.