Let the haters be “jelly”

It’s more than just a sandwich.

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by Grace Fiorella, Staff Photographer

Season one, episode one. Or I guess you just call it the pilot. Anyways, It all started when I started to watch “Glee.” Yep, thank you “glee.” I was watching “glee” and the characters Will Shuester and Emma Pillsbury were eating this perfectly cut peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  For most people it probably looked like a ordinary sandwich, but my ten year old self had never seen something so beautiful, yet so simple in my entire life.

 I wasn’t always this obsessed with this sandwich. In fact, growing up my mom always made peanut butter and honey sandwiches. That was the only sandwich I was used to when I started to make that sandwich for my lunches. As I got older, I would occasionally pack peanut butter and jellys or some other sort of sandwich, but I wasn’t obsessed just quite yet.

My obsession really intensified this year. I just started having these weird cravings for them. I don’t just crave them, I find myself getting heated at people if they use the wrong peanut butter, or the wrong jelly or even the wrong bread.Out of everything on that list, please use the right peanut butter, use jif peanut butter and not Smuckers. And just because I really care about my fans, I will tell you what jelly you should use: strawberry jelly, not grape. And if you are not a fan of strawberry,  then at least use blackberry. Just please, no grape.  

The peanut butter and honey just doesn’t work for me anymore. My mother tries to tell they are better, but I just let her think that. Let’s be real they’re not. In fact, when I see her in the kitchen I just give her this look. You know the look.

It’s more a look of disappointment, ashamed that she would even make that in front of me. They don’t give me that same satisfaction as a peanut butter and jelly.  I mean I even like making my peanut butter and jelly. It really is the highlight of my morning. I set aside two slices of beautiful perfect looking white bread; Pepperidge farms healthy white bread just to be exact. Then, I pull out that creamy jif peanut butter that’s delicious (but nutritious of course).  I happily spread a large amount thinking about how good my lunch is gonna be that day. Sometimes, I even consider eating it for my breakfast.

As I spend my morning thinking of that masterpiece I will soon be eating, I start to get all this hate from the haters. I get questions like “fio why are you dabbing about a pb&j” or “what is so special about your pb & j….don’t they all taste the same.” That is my favorite question of all time because they clearly haven’t had my pb & j. And no they don’t all taste the same.  Like I said earlier, you can mess up a pb & j. Trust me, I have had a few in my time that were just horrendous. I mean worse than a uncrustable, which is really saying something.No worries though, thanks to these haters I have ended up being more obsessed with them.  I ended up getting most of the haters to like pb&js. In fact, the haters started to like pb&js more because they tried my very own. So, ha jokes on them.