column by Alex Davis

Merriam Webster Dictionary defines gender as “the state of being male or female,” or, more complexly, “a subclass within a grammatical class of a language that is partly arbitrary but also partly based on distinguishable characteristics.” As in, gender is part of a language that is based on what someone or something looks like. This definition seems to be cohesive with the general public’s idea of what gender is, the idea that one is either strictly male or strictly female because of their perceived body image from others. But then there are those who don’t fit into this definition, people who come to realize that they don’t conform to this “gender norm”.

These are the people who are gender non-binary. These are the people who see themselves on more complex terms than “female” or “male”. These are the people who I identify with. And we are the people who want you to know that there is more to gender than just male or female.

According to nonbinary.org, there are at least 198 gender identities that a person can identify with. This in itself shows that the perception of gender is changing into something incredibly complex. The truth of the matter is this: the idea of gender is such a driving force in our lives that it’s nearly impossible to avoid it. It determines who we are, how much money we make, what stereotypes we have to face, what we are told to wear, how we are “supposed” to act. Even if we don’t realize it, our gender is predetermined for us before we even get a say on the matter and somehow our destiny is set. Being non-binary has helped me realize just how outrageous this is.

Gender shouldn’t be predetermined. Gender is, and should be, subjective. Gender is perceived differently for everybody. Some don’t pay much mind, but for others, those who feel like they were born in the wrong bodies and are struggling with gender dysphoria, it is something so crucial to who they are and it shouldn’t be joked about or taken lightly.

illustration by Ellie Grever

If you want to identify as female and you were born as female, that’s fine. If you want to identify as male but you were born with breasts and a vagina and were called female at birth, that’s fine. If you want to identity as both male and female and are genderfluid, that’s fine. Or, if you’re like me, and you don’t identify with any gender, then that’s fine. Some days you may feel like one thing, other days you may feel like something different, or maybe a lot of days you don’t feel like anything at all, and that’s fine too.

Even though I’m in the non-binary community, there still are things I can’t even begin to understand. I’m new to the game; I didn’t come to terms with the fact that I don’t really see myself as female, or even male for that matter, until six or seven months ago. On the outside, I may have the body parts someone may typically identify as “female”, but mentally, I am genderless, gender neutral, gender non-conforming. All I see is a body that moves and functions according to my will, and isn’t that all someone really needs? Why do I have to choose between male or female? blue or pink? suits or dresses? Why can’t I just be without having to be anything? What is so wrong with that?