So here I am, sitting in a corner of Mr. Hain’s room next to a power strip, what looks to be a moldy wall and a podium. I’m just sitting here right now, literally not doing anything except trying to write this blog. I have received several Snapchats during this free, one being of one of my exes, which makes me roll my eyes excessively.

Personally, I think ex significant others are dirty laundry, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. I think that purposefully sending snapchats to me of my exes is airing said dirty laundry. However, in this blog, the dirty laundry is going to be hung up for all of STA to see, quite simply because sometimes boys are the worst.

In the past, I have not had good experiences with boys. They try to tell you what to do, they cheat on you and they get over attached. I don’t do well with any of those aspects, personally. For example, I embody Carrie Underwood when a boy is disrespectful to me or my friends. I am completely willing to slash their tires and dig my keys into the side of their pretty little souped up four wheel drive. Am I the crazy ex girlfriend, you ask? 1). No, because I never dated any of these crazies and 2). I am just being fair.

An example of this occurred March of sophomore year when I found out that the guy I was with had been seeing another girl behind my back. Was I upset? Kind of. Did I cry? Over my dead body would I cry over a boy. Did I seek revenge? Not exactly. Did I destroy the gifts he gave me and deface a picture of him? Heck yes.

This process involved printing out a picture of this boy, taping it to several bottle rockets, and setting them off in a field for me and my friends to enjoy the blowing up of his face. Afterwards, we taped the picture to a target and shot hunting arrows at it. I didn’t end up blowing up the teddy bear he gave me because I felt bad. The teddy bear didn’t really do anything, so I didn’t think he deserved to be blown to bits.

The second time this happened (with a different boy) I was definitely a lot meaner, and I kind of regret that. He apologized profusely for what he did, I said “Screw you lol” and dated one of his friends (we’ve been dating for eight months now, so I guess that worked out). Except it doesn’t end there. This poor kid stopped hanging out with his friends, stopped going out on the weekends and was mean to everyone he talked to. So I guess you could say I kind of accidentally broke a human, but I think we’re on decent terms now. #OhWell. But am I the villain here? I don’t think so. I’m not the one who cheated on someone. All’s fair in love and war, ladies.

So, fellow Stars, I urge you to never, ever, ever date a boy that you think would do this to you. And, if this does happen to you, don’t play the victim. Even though crying in your bed with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and Netflix may seem appealing, it’s not gonna get you anywhere. Go all ticked-off country star on him. Listen to some Miranda Lambert and Carrie Underwood and go ham. Blow up the gifts he gave you, TP his house, Oreo his car, date his friends. None of you deserve to be treated poorly, EVER, especially by a boy for Pete’s sake.

Don’t let boys tell you what to do, cheat on you, get uncomfortably clingy or make you feel bad about yourself. Seriously, just go absolutely crazy on them if they’re mean to you. That’s what I do, and I have successfully made several 200 pound, six foot tall boys become absolutely terrified of me, who is a little over five feet tall. It’s a fun time. #YayGirls #BooGuys