This is Ima weIrdO’s first ever guest blog and I’m sooo excited!!!

Allow me to introduce my fellow weIrDo, Katie McCombs.

Enjoy her thoughts on the pros and pleasures of canker sores..yumm.

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Hi, I’m Katie McCombs. Welcome to my guest blog!  I just wanted to point out to you all that IMA WEIRDO too!

Let’s start out this blog with the prime factor of my weird-ism, the definition of canker sores.

Canker Sore: noun 1. an ulceration of a mucous membrane, especially of the mouth. 2. A small, painful ulcer of the mucous membrane of the mouth; an aphtha.

Now that’s just delightful.

Even though these definitions sound ultimately unbearable for a human to ever contract and/or manage, they make me smile. In fact, I like to call them cankies.  🙂

Cankies can range from a simple annoyance to a severely painful, bloody, typically white sore, usually in the mouth, that can interfere with normal oral activity and come in small, medium, or large sizes. THere are two types of cankies:

• Cankie #1 – a big mama on the inner, bottom lip and two little guys drifting around the gum area

According to good ole’ animated-teeth.com, the cause of cankies is not well understood. But, the little boogers have something to do with an abnormal response of the sufferer’s immune system.

All you people with braces: canker sores can be your worst nightmare. A thin, metal wire rubbing and poking up against an open, bloody wound inside the mouth is a braceface’s worst fear. You should be scared.

You might wonder what I’m getting to after all these gruesome definitions, scenarios, and pictures’¦. Hate to break it to ya, but I like my lil’ canks. I like the pain that comes with them, as weird and creepy as it sounds. However, I do not like a bloody, crusty massacre on the outside of my face that causes me to look like a complete hooligan. I like them inner canks.

This poor little guy suffers from major canky issues young. You know your canks are getting out of hand when it looks like you got a lip implant at age 5:

Which brings me to my next case:

• Cankies #2 (rare case) – big canks inside the mouth that have caused external puffiness and lip plumpness

When I personally feel a canky forming, whether it’s inside my bottom gum/lip, upper gum/lip, inner cheek, or the typical tip of the tongue, I immediately take action. Because cankies come with so much pain, I take the initiative and try to start getting rid of them before I look like that little boy in cankies #2.

First, I usually bite down on my victim (canky) with my sharpest teeth, my canines. The canine method is only good for tongue cankies, however. I use the tip of my pencil or anything else sharp to poke at it and try to dismember the sore from my tongue (don’t try this at home). I’m going to stop at that and leave out the other weird, grotesque details.

I really only prey on tongue canks because the pain actually feels like you’re healing it. I try to leave the lower/upper gum/lip, inner cheek canks alone because I discovered that you can get afflicted with major medical mouth issues. One time, I had a little cank on the inside of my check, which is common for me. The next day it started getting bigger. Then, what do ya know, I have another lil’ cank directly opposite it on my other cheek. For probably a month, I looked like a fat chipmunk and couldn’t talk/eat/drink without pain. So, don’t mess around with those boogers or you’ll end up like me or that poor little boy.

Oh, and just my luck, the very next month, I got two more lil’ opposite canks, this time, on the right and left sides of my upper lip.

Before you all think that I’m some type of cannibalistic weirdo who eats off pieces of my tongue and cheek, I just want you to know that I am not alone on this weird-ism. My friend Meg Nulton shares the same urge I do, except I believe her case is a little more severe than mine. She messes with those lower/upper gum/lip canks. Weird, I know.

So, if you don’t like the wonderful masses of pain God joyfully inserts into the unusual places of our mouths, then be a downer, go buy some Orajel, and quit complaining about it.

Does that couple look happy to you? I didn’t think so.

Thanks for hearing me out,

Katie

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I hope you enjoyed Katie’s blog!! If you’re interested in writing a weird blog of your own, please email your name, school, and suggestions to [email protected].

See you next week!

wEirDo