Friday, 11 a.m.

The scene: STA quad, Halloween. Girls, everywhere, dressed up as giant hot dogs, loofahs, and body builders, run through the quad, stuff their faces with food, and crack perverted jokes with their friends. Others hang stuffed animals out the windows of M&A, and some even roll around the halls on skates, wearing afros and gold jumpsuits with sequins.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9CPxOBT00&feature=player_embedded]

Friday, 8 p.m.

The scene: Halloween night, a large party. These same girls are there, hanging with friends. Only something is different. The hotdog from earlier today is now dressed as a “saucy beer maiden,” and the loofah has become a sexy-something with animal ears;  the gorging of snacks has been replaced with the casually sipping of a bottle of water; the perverted jokes have now become occasional giggles; and most importantly, testerone has entered the STA habitat.

Hence, this week’s topic:

BOY-GIRL INTERACTION.

Okay, get past the cheesy photo for two seconds and just visualize yourself hanging out with the guys last weekend…

Don’t worry, I feel your pain. And so does every other girl out there. Because all of us change around individuals of the opposite sex.

In fact, we all do the weirdest things around guys. And that’s just weird.

Sorry, people, but it’s true. Don’t waste your time trying to defend yourself here. WE ALL DO IT, even those of you who think you are successful flirts just because you have “things” (that’s just weird in itself), boyfriends, soulmates, yada yada yada.

Therefore, I have created a list of the weird things all of us girls do around guys. Use it for whatever you want; pleasure, solace, reassurance. Go wild.

1. Asking obvious questions that you already know the answers to: Do you play lacrosse? Do you have school tomorrow? Are you wearing cologne? I’ll stop now, as I am about to vomit just thinking about all the stupid questions we ask. Seriously, girls, we are so much better than this. We go to a college preparatory school and the only thing we can fork up during a conversation with an intolerant Rockhurst boy is a kindergarten question such as What is your favorite color? Blaaaaaaah. It makes me want to die. But guess what–we all do this ALL the time. And it’s sooo weird.
2. Pretending that you share the same interests: This goes hand in hand with the obvious question things. Do we honestly think that these guys believe we like wrestling/cars/PS3? Because they don’t. But we continue to ask these questions and fake our “obsessions” with the Chiefs because we actually think it helps our game.
3. Compliments: You seriously like that disgusting t-shirt he wears with jeans every weekend? Please. And yet we all do it…weird.
4. Laughing…at everything: Okay, he’s not THAT funny. So stop laughing at everything he says. It’s just annoying. That’s what I continue to tell myself, but I am coming clean: I am a victim of this embarrassing pasttime. And so are you. And so is everyone else.  So let’s ask ourselves: Do I really want to look like this? [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FC3XVTLKXTU]
5. Texting: This habit usually comes after the first few flirting sessions; the guy is already interested, and he’s started texting you daily. News flash: he doesn’t really care what you say, he just is happy with a response. Therefore, there is no need to spend 15 minutes thinking of a clever/witty response to his message wat r u doin? It’s totally unnecessary. Just say, nothing. Problem solved. And while we’re on this topic, I have a message to all you people that text your “thing,” boyfriend, soul mate, etc. every second of every day–texting while we’re eating lunch at Panera, watching a movie together, dissecting a rat in Biology, whatever. STOP IT, YOU ARE BEING SO RUDE. There, I said it. Seriously, do you not understand how annoying it is to be talking to someone and then they pull out their phone and text mid-conversation? Thank you, you basically just informed me that you don’t want to talk to me; you want to talk to him. Can you not wait until after our quality time together to figure out what time you and your bf are getting coffee together next? I mean, seriously, you do it every day anyway so you ought to know by now. Honestly, I want to take your blackberry and chuck it out the window. Seriously, cut it out and put your dumb phone away for two seconds.
6. Finally,everyone’s favorite: acting like a ditz. This covers being stupid, falling down, asking dumb questions, etc. I honestly don’t understand why girls do this to themselves. Why do they think being ignorant is sexy? Falling down on the floor and looking like an idiot is definitely hot, right? Umm, no. But many girls continue to do this over and over again. Okay this is where I draw the line–if you do this, please stop. Just remember: when you act dumb, therefore you look dumb. End of story.

Wow, I totally wish that I didn’t choose this as my blog topic because now I’m really frustrated with us girls.

In closing, I say, hey, we all do it. So let’s all stop doing it. Let’s actually act like ourselves around guys instead of acting like weird freaks. We look dumber trying to be people we aren’t anyway. So embrace your weirdness, be yourself, and get out there!

And if that doesn’t work, you can always improvise:

Until next time,

wEirDo