Girl hate needs to stop

There’s a way to make our girl community stronger – and we can do it!


by Jeannie O'Flaherty, Staff Writer

The girl community is a funny place. We are all (hopefully) well-aware of the struggles we face, whether it be in the workplace, politics, religion, homes, relationships, media, I could go on, and probably so could you.

In a world where women are so often viewed as the lesser, we – as girls – still have the power to strengthen each other and our community as a whole. St. Teresa’s is an amazing cultivator of sisterhood. But this isn’t about STA, this is about the world at large, our sisters on the street, not just in the halls.

Girls have a particular way of separating ourselves from each other. This is not totally our fault – media has conditioned us to be competitors, to find imperfections in ourselves and each other, and to constantly be separating ourselves from each other.

These comparisons have created a whole new glossary of terms we use to point out ‘imperfections’ and distance ourselves from each other.

When we throw insults at each other, we’re putting one another down in a world where we are already under-respected. We’re making our community toxic and disconnected. We’re setting the example for others – particularly men – that we are perfectly okay with degrading other girls. These insults shouldn’t even be insults in the first place.

Here’s a few things to remember when you are presented with comparison:
A girl’s sexual life is not the deciding factor of her worth. Respect a girl’s sexual life, regardless of what it is. We don’t know her inner-workings, and we don’t need to. Let that be, and love her no matter what.

Being fat is not a flaw. When fat is used as an insult, it’s perpetuating the idea that skinny is the norm, or skinny is somehow better than fat. A girl’s body is her body, and maybe she loves it or maybe she’s extremely insecure, but either way, she doesn’t need anybody to make comments on her appearance. Tell her how beautiful she is, how much you love her style, tell her how on fleek her eyebrows are.

Words synonymous with vagina should not be used as insults. (Sidenote: there are a LOT more insults that we need to eliminate in our society, this is only a few to start with). The vagina is an incredibly impressive reproductive organ that most women have. Why is this spectacular body part such an insult? These words seem to be reserved for occasions to really want to offend someone (especially boys). If you call someone one of these terms, you really want to get a reaction. You know what my reaction is? Upgrade your vocabulary! I take no offense at being deemed the title of vagina, heck I’d take it as a compliment! My body is powerful, my body works magic! So yeah, sure, go ahead call me that because I will keep walking with my head high knowing that I emulate the same traits as the very organ that brought you, and the entire human race, into this world.

Our girlhood is so important, but there are a lot of factors that have convinced us that we need to find differences between each other and magnify those differences. My challenge to you is to do the opposite – ignore your first instinct to compare, rather find something you have in common with any and every girl you come in contact with. Lift your sister up! If we aren’t advocates for each other, who will be? It’s pretty well established that men are plenty comfortable with their position in society and don’t have plans on making room for us at the top.
I promise, spreading love to other girls will make our girl community so much stronger and united in a world that wants to tear us down.