So everyone, today is the day that my severe bout of anxiety will begin again. How do I know this, you ask? American Horror Story comes back tonight.

Don’t get me wrong, I love American Horror Story. It’s a fantastic show, it just gives me really really bad anxiety. During the first season, I literally did not sleep for three days because it freaked me out so bad. During the second season, which is about an insane asylum, I had a mental break down because I legitimately thought I was insane. I’m not kidding, I sat under my dining room table drinking cotton candy milk and listening to Christmas music in October for a solid four hours.

I have a love-hate relationship with AHS. Like I said, it makes me go slightly insane, but it’s also addicting. One time I watched the second episode of the first season last year before soccer. Bad idea.

In the episode that I watched, two or three people break into the house and try to kill the family. One of the murderers gets CHOPPED IN HALF which has basically scarred me for life. After the episode, I went to go pick up my friend Kay VanAsdale for soccer. As we were driving to practice, I rambled on and on about how scared I was from that episode. I started crying, I clutched my heart and I thought I was dying. Kay definitely thought I was psychotic, but the experience was very traumatic. After this, I didn’t sleep for three days. I literally looked like an insane person.

During the second season, I was like “You know what, this is gonna be okay. This isn’t as scary as the first season.” I was right on the fact that it wasn’t as scary, but it still stressed me out. For some reason the theme of insanity in that season triggered something in my head and made me go slightly insane. I seriously thought I was insane and did lots of research on it (that’s how I found myself under my dining room table). The second season also involves monster-mutant things. The thought of these repulsive creatures caused me to run from my car to my back door each night. Honestly, I still run from my car every time I get home at night. It’s a bad habit.

Thankfully, the third season wasn’t scary at all. I enjoyed that one for the most part, but I watched at least five episodes in one day when I was home sick. Later that night, I woke up several times because I thought there were voodoo priestesses in my room and I thought they were gonna wrap snakes around my neck and kill me. I didn’t get a lot of sleep that night.

Despite the major anxiety that AHS has given me, I would highly recommend it if you aren’t too easily scared. If you are easily scared, do not watch this under any circumstances or you will not sleep ever again. Hopefully the fifth season isn’t too horribly scary, but based on the teasers that they’ve put out, it’s looking like I’m gonna have some issues over the next couple months. I’ll probably update you guys on my mental status halfway through the season, and it probably won’t be good.

Anyways, if you like getting the poop scared out of you, watch American Horror Story on October 7 on FX. I don’t know what time it starts, so you’ll have to look that up on your own. #MeredithAndTateLangdonForever