Nobody Puts Kenzie In The Corner: Introduction (Again)

Junior Mackenzie Nicole O’Guin submits to surreal degrees of public humiliation for your viewing pleasure.


by Mackenzie O'Guin, Design Editor

by Mackenzie O’Guin


Déjà vu: French for “already seen.” Nothing sums up my time writing this Introduction quite as well as this tried and true French colloquialism. How do I re-explain my blog without essentially copy and pasting what I said this time a year ago? I am still an sitting in a dark, lamplit room, clad with my signature black-framed glasses and nursing a bitter brew that might pass (by some low standards) as tea. After drafting and re-drafting this post about 4634 times, I experienced a divine revelation: it’s not the introduction that matters, it’s what I’m introducing. Hi, I’m Mackenzie Nicole O’Guin, and it is my pleasure to present to you Part II of Nobody Puts Kenzie In The Corner.

For those of you premier blog patrons, I’ll explain what you’re getting yourself into– or more accurately, what I’m getting myself into. Nobody Puts Kenzie In The Corner is, for lack of better explanation, a high school bucket list. Every other Friday, I will complete one item off the list and publish the collateral damage for your viewing pleasure. For a full explanation, please check out last year’s Introduction.

I started the blog last year with a core list that I would add onto throughout my three years on Dart staff. Now, without further ado, I present the junior year list.

  1. Winstead’s Skyscraper Challenge (by myself #pray4mack2014)
  2. Visit the Nelson
  3. Go an entire day without speaking (I know many people would love this)
  4. Interview sexist plaza picketers
  5. Blind french fry test
  6. Attend a country concert (I hate country music)
  7. Learn to drive (watching me operate large machinery is always fun)
  8. See a musical
  9. Crash a wedding
  10. Successfully navigate a huge corn maze
  11. Take as many selfies with strangers as physically possible in one week’s time
  12. Go Black Friday shopping
  13. Perform on a Plaza street corner
  14. Cook a huge meal without burning a house down (those of you who have seen me cook know this is a terrifying experience)
  15. Walk around a public place dressed in costume for an entire day
  16. Learn to ride a skateboard
  17. Have an unconventional holiday
  18. Be completely honest for an entire day
  19. Speak only Spanish for one day
  20. Learn how to play poker
  21. Shadow at a public school
  22. Learn another language (besides Spanish and English)
  23. Go to a concert to see an artist/group I’ve never heard of
  24. Day without makeup
  25. Rollercoaster Camera
  26. Fly in a hot air balloon
  27. Attempt a social experiment (you’ll see, trust me)
  28. Start a flash mob
  29. Go stag to a dance
  30. Police ride-along
  31. Visit a wax museum
  32. Swim in a waterfall
  33. Go an entire week without apologizing (I use “sorry” like a comma)
  34. Visit a psychic/tarot card reader/palmist
  35. Try an anti-gravity wind tunnel
  36. Be a KC tourist for a day
  37. Take a “weird” class (outside of STA)
  38. Experience acupuncture
  39. Successfully complete a Pinterest DIY

Now that I have adequately set the stage for a year of public humiliation, please make sure to check in every other weekend to see photos, videos, graphics, and more of me over-complicating the mundane and under-estimating own my capacity for embarrassment. Thank you so much for reading! Returning and new readers alike, I hope you’re ready for another long year of nonsense and pseudo-profound tangents. Welcome to the freakshow.

So long and goodnight,

Mackenzie Nicole O’Guin