by Mackenzie O’Guin
Let me begin by saying that I am not the touristy type. Thus, when sophomore Christina Kirk and I mini-vacationed down to Branson, everyone was shocked when I insisted on visiting the Hollywood Wax Museum.
I knew I was in for a treat the moment I stepped through the door and found myself face-to-face with Robert Downey Jr., a.k.a. the love of my life (sorry, Hos).
My joy was surpassed only by that of Christina when she turned to lay eyes on a true national treasure.
After admiring good ole’ Nic Cage for an uncomfortably long moment, we trekked onward. As usual, walking gave me time to think, and subsequently, I pondered the nonexistent ‘deeper meaning’ of the situation at hand. As I paced through hallway after hallway of celebrities, living and dead, I thought how peculiar it would be to see my own likeness there. Imagine the surprise of one day receiving a call: “Hello, insert celebrity name here. I know you’re busy, but would it be cool with you if we made this huge block of wax in your likeness?” Personally, I’d be horrified. What if they make me look ugly? The humiliation would be unrivaled. Or, on the flip side, what if Wax Mack were more attractive than Real Mack? That’d be whack! (HA, get it? Rhymes!) Either way, I don’t have the constitution to have to compete with a wax sculpture for looks.
This remarkably self-centered train of thought was interrupted by seeing an elderly woman posing next to Hugh Hefner on a heart-shaped mattress. Some things cannot be unseen.
Freshly disturbed by that traumatic experience, my family and I trudged on. Passing several old-timey stars, we made our way to my favorite part, the horror section. Who did we find there? Everyone’s favorite…
SATAN! Yes, Christina found Satan. I, too, made some new friends.
And, on that charming note, our journey concluded. But not before bidding goodbye to the height-measured silhouette of Collin Firth. Ladies from our freshman year period one Advanced English I class understand.
Thank you so much for reading! I need to apologize for not posting last weekend, my original post fell through and I was left on Sunday night with nothing to work with. However, I sincerely hope this week makes up for it. I really love this blog so far and I cannot wait for next week. Xoxo.
So long and goodnight,
Mackenzie Nicole O’Guin
Special thanks to Christina Kirk for tolerating me for an entire weekend, my family for tolerating Christina Kirk for an entire weekend, and Branson for tolerating my family for an entire weekend.