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The worst music of 2013

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by Natalie Fitts

 

Music had a big year. While 2013 included many hits (i.e. Lorde’s “Pure Heroine,” Justin Timberlake’s “The 20/20 Experience” and Katy Perry’s “Prism), it had plenty of misses as well. Here are the worst of the worst in 2013 music:

 

Singles

“23” by Mike WiLL Made-It ft. Miley Cyrus, Wiz Khalifa and Juicy J: Even if you don’t like her, based on the amount of money and attention she received, 2013 was largely the year of Miley Cyrus. However, this single should not be counted among her successes. There is nothing catchy or memorable about “23.” Mike WiLL Made-It helped produce Miley’s own album, “Bangers.” I can’t help but think that “23” is landed in the reject pile from Miley’s album so it ended up on the lesser-known Mike WiLL Made-It’s album. Although Miley claims she doesn’t care what people think of her, this collaboration only highlights her desperation for the public to perceive her as cool. Despite her new, “edgy” image, she still doesn’t fit in with rappers like Wiz Khalifa and Juicy J.

 

“One Way or Another (Teenage Kicks)” by One Direction: I’m not afraid to admit that One Direction is a guilty pleasure of mine, but when I heard that they had combined two hits from the late 1970s (Blondie’s “One Way or Another” and The Undertone’s “Teenage Kicks”), I knew it was going to be bad. This isn’t the first time One Direction has covered untouchable classics that shouldn’t be remade by anyone because there’s simply no way to top the originals. They’ve botched “Wonderwall” by Oasis and “Teenage Dirtbag” by Wheatus. The One Direction boys should avoid covering songs that were written years before most of their fans were born and stick to the pop songs that have been written for them.

 

“Cruise (Remix)” by Florida Georgia Line ft. Nelly: I have nothing against the original song. In fact, it’s fun and catchy. However, this remix was just unnecessary. My guess is Nelly was trying to relive the success of his 2004 single with Tim McGraw, “Over and Over.” That song was a very rare occurrence in which county and R&B blended perfectly. I wish Nelly had just left that as his only experience with country music.

 

“Cups (When I’m Gone)” by Anna Kendrick: When I first saw 2012’s “Pitch Perfect,” I thought this song was clever and fun. But then February 2013 rolled around, it was released as a single to the radio and teenage girls across America started making videos of themselves performing the song. It quickly lost all its cleverness and fun.

 

anything by or featuring Pitbull: It seems the quickest way to ruin a song is to add “feat. Pitbull” to the end of its title. His single this year was “Feel This Moment” with Christina Aguilera. Just when I thought he was going to stay quiet for the rest of the year, BOOM, he drops his own album. The one light in the darkness is his song “Timber” featuring Ke$ha, but that isn’t even included on his album. While I wish the song only included Ke$ha’s parts, I’m willing to listen to the entire song because she’s so great in it.

 

“Gentleman” by Psy: As if his 2012 hit “Gangham Style” wasn’t bad enough, this K-pop star released his follow-up, “Gentleman,” this April. The video has almost 600 million hits on YouTube, but I’m guessing that’s because people were interested to see what he would come up with next and not because the song is very high-quality.

 

“What About Love” by Austin Mahone: While Justin Bieber was focusing more on dominating the pages of tabloids than the music charts, newcomer Austin Mahone tried to swoop in to take the Biebs’ place. “What About Love” isn’t a bad song in its own right, but when you compare it to Bieber’s first hit, “One Time,” it isn’t nearly as catchy or successful. Mahone first needs to try to match Bieber’s popularity if he has any hope of ever topping it.

 

“Good Time” by Paris Hilton ft. Lil Wayne: It has been seven years since Hilton released her self-titled debut album so I guess she figured it was time to take another stab at the music business. I guess Lil Wayne hasn’t been receiving many offers (and/or she paid him a lot of money) because Hilton somehow got him to join her on this track. I’m not the only one who dislikes this song, as evidenced by the fact that 75 percent of its ratings on YouTube are negative.

 

Albums

“Where It All Began” by Matthew Morrison: Matthew Morrison should know firsthand that one of the only times showtunes find success on iTunes us when they are under the name “Glee,” the hit TV show that he is a part of. Nevertheless, he decided to release an album full of showtunes. Morrison is obviously good with songs like “Singin’ in the Rain” and “The Lady is a Tramp,” but he should stick to where he began, the stage.

 

“Avril Lavigne” by Avril Lavigne: She’s back. And worse than ever. I’m not embarrassed to admit that I was in Avril fan in her “Sk8tr Boi” days all the way through her “Girlfriend” days. But then “What the Hell” came out, and she had lost me. I was hoping she would take some time off when she married Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger (another bad musician) this July, but I was sadly mistaken. She released her self-titled album in November. As much as I try to remember the Avril I loved as a child, it’s rather difficult when she makes albums like this, which includes collaborations with both Kroeger and Marilyn Manson.

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  • C

    cbutlerJan 27, 2014 at 12:45 pm

    OK IM SORRY BUT HOW DO YOU NOT LIK PITBULL? ARE YOU AN AMERICAN

    Reply
  • U

    unknownJan 7, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    blurred lines anyone?

    Reply
  • B

    BAILEY KATHRYN WHITEHEADJan 6, 2014 at 9:27 pm

    Hello, Natalie Fitts. I’ve missed you over break. How was Christmas?

    Let’s cut the formalities.

    How could you not like 23? I mean, come on, MIKE WILL MADE IT. Not only is Miley Cyrus a gift to the fine musical line between hip-hop and pop, but 23 shows how amazing bad white female rapping is. For example, let’s take a look at this excerpt: “Drinking out the bottle/ I got no respect/ Looking like a model/ Who just got a check (change)”. She pulls off the double rhyme (actually not rhyming at all) thing. She rhymes bottle with model, and respect with check, and let’s just say if you looked up either of the first words in a rhyming dictionary, you would not find the second ones.

    My point is, she is so bad she’s good. There aren’t enough songs out there where you think it’s a joke the first time you hear it. Sometimes you have to embrace bad music and just love all of its flaws. Now, does this comment only make your opinion more correct? Definitely. BUT I LOVE THAT SONG SO MUCH I JUST HAD TO SAY SOMETHING.

    I love you forever,

    Bailey (Pro Miley)

    Reply