What would the world be like if Miley Cyrus didn’t update her Twitter 25 times a day?
Probably a better place.
But let’s get real- that’s not the case. So, as a result, I’ve been forced by my own curiosity to check up on Miley’s totally obnoxious life by secretly reading her tweets. I tell myself I’m doing this in order to dig deeper into Miley’s inner non-superstar, normal-person self. Sometimes I tell myself I’m just doing a standard psycho-analysis on her. Other times I do it to tell myself I’m cooler than her. Tonight I just told myself I’m doing it for this blog. Either way, I have many more excuses, all of which boil down to me just being flat-out interested in Miley Cyrus’ life. Embarrassing, I know. I can’t help it though; it’s a disease. Unfortunately, I’ve discovered through Twitter that her daily life might actually be more annoying than a back-to-back Hannah Montana marathon when you’re stuck babysitting an 8 year-old girl (special thanks to Disney Channel by the way for forever ruining my Saturday night babysitting jobs; I can’t imagine ever being fortunate enough to one night watch “Toy Story” as oppose to those moppy-headed Zach and Cody kids or worse, the Jonas Brothers). Anyway, I got hooked on the Miley tweets a few weeks ago when a couple of people informed me of how pointless and dumb they were. The tweet they told me about was something along the lines of, “Sitting at Starbucks reading the Bible!!!” Seriously, how worthless and what a waste of my time!
…So, of course I was immediately hooked.
I’ve officially gone on to read a multitude of Miley tweets, all of which confirm that she doesn’t know how to spell and/or think. Seriously, in the time it’s taken me to write this she has updated her Twitter feed twice. The first one (which inspired me to write this) was laughable to say the least. It said:
“Just had a great dinner wiff a good friend 🙂 Why are baked potatoes so amazinnggg!”
Well, thanks Miley. Didn’t know the word “with” had officially been changed to a word that at first-glance looks like “waffle” but is actually just a really worthless knock-off of my favorite preposition. Ladies and gentlemen, “with” officially equals “wiff.” That’s of course if you’re living in Miley World, however. Also, the last time I checked, baked potatoes were “amazing” not “amaaayyzeeenguhh!!” At least we have official confirmation that she eats though. There’s something to admire her for.
The most recent post said:
“My skin = annoying!”
News flash Miley: Your Tweets = annoying! Seriously, way to officially get a million 12 year-old girls to write you fan letters being like, “oMg!! Noo Miley you’re so perfect! Luv da skin ur in!!” This whole Twitter thing has to be a ploy invented by someone’s publicist (very likely Miley’s…maybe Oprah’s?)
BUT, as much as I resent some things about Miley, I’m not going to lie- I secretly like her new song “Party in the USA.” Definitely snagged a copy of it when somebody left a mix CD in my car containing that peppy little song on it. I am failing to return the CD to its rightful owner so I can enjoy it for myself. No lies, it gets me going. So until “Party in the USA” gets overplayed to the point where I literally throw the CD out of my car and reverse over it ten times, Miley’s okay in my book…which means I probably will despise her by next weekend.
Until then!