Dear boyfriends,

Who would have guessed that asking for each others’ cell phone numbers was going to be the biggest mistake we ever made?

As soon as we started texting, we thought we just “clicked.” Well, we “clicked” alright. Between our cell phones and laptops, we thought the clicking of buttons was the clicking of our relationship. Things quickly escalated as we began to send more than 100 texts a day.

Aggravated and angered, our parents took our phones away after we blantantly ignored them at dinner to send you guys a text. They grounded us after our cell phone bill cost $250. Perhaps they were only trying to help.

Truth is, we have to stop texting. And no, that does not mean we have to stop dating.

It means we need to redirect how we communicate. Listen bud, relationships fail when they rely only on technology. Is that what you’re setting us up for? Failure?

Instead of confronting each other in person last Friday at that party when you were talking to another girl, we waited until we got home to yell at each other through angry texts.

We spent five minutes crafting the perfect text, re-wording sentences, spell checking and adding two question marks before the perfect smiley face.

Instead, let’s spend those five minutes on the phone, having a real conversation. Yes, talking. With our mouths.

You won’t have any response time on the phone. You have to talk to us in the moment, which means you have to be real. Really real.

Because we have relied on these pre-meditated texts, we can’t handle a serious conversation like this in person. It gets too awkward to see each other’s reactions. We hid behind our phones and computers to disguise how we felt. We didn’t see your facial expressions and you didn’t hear our tone of voice.

Sure, between our busy sports schedules and constant homework it was hard to hang out or give up half an hour for a phone call. Yes, texting may have been easier, faster or more convenient. And it probably required a lot less brain activity to move fingers across a keyboard than it took to annunciate words and communicate real thoughts.

But why does our relationship have to be easy or convenient? Healthy relationships involve work, sacrifice and dedication.

Right now, our relationship is anything but healthy. The past 7 months have been nothing but fake. The whole time we’ve been dating (well, texting), we’ve put on a complete act. We don’t even know who the other person is anymore.

We’ve relied on our phones to discover everything about one another. We know you for the emoticons you use and the words you always spell wrong. However, we probably don’t know the color of each others’ eyes or the sound of each others’ laugh. As much as technology seems like a communication break-through for teenagers persuing relationships, it is actually a communication break-down.

“You can say a lot more           “If you’re texting each              “If you build a relation-
over text [than in person].       other about something             ship through texting, it
It hurts relationships.”             serious, you need to call          makes things really
them or meet them in                  awkward.”
Allison Hogan,                             person.”
sophomore                                                                               Colleen McInerny,
Sam Cusumano,                         junior
senior

Sure, you many want to break up with us girls because we won’t text you 24/7. Chances are, you’ll break up through a text. Which isn’t even surprising, considering we can’t have these important conversations face to face.

Or maybe you decide that by changing your relationship status on Facebook, we’ll get the hint that things are over. We’ve both set ourselves up for this failed relationship, and probably even relationships down the road. It’s scary that these bad habits will carry into the future. Imagine us married, lying in bed, working on our Blackberrys until 1 a.m., still relying on technology to avoid sharing our feelings.

Maybe we can save ourselves from heartaches and virtual tears :'(. Instead of texting for three hours while working on homework, let’s go to the library together so we can talk in person. Let’s make an effort to talk on the phone everyday we don’t see each other. If you start communicating with us in person, chances are your relationship will work out better.

If we don’t rely on texting, we can talk more openly, establish trust and learn more about each other. This type of communication is real. No longer are we texting “haha” or “lol” to each other, but we get to hear and enjoy audible laughter.

It’s live, it’s in the moment and it’s unrestrained. Isn’t that how we want our relationship to be?

Sincerely,

your girlfriends